Kizuko

RELINK.

2009-09-01T00:39:00.000-07:00

RELINK
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I'm not going to delete this blog, as it holds a sentimental value for me. So yeah, please do be alert enough to know that this blog is no longer in use. If necessary, I'll go around tagging to remind you guys for relinking. Sorry for the inconvenience made.

2009-08-29T21:44:00.000-07:00

RELINK
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Newww

2009-08-22T22:24:00.000-07:00

Blogger is definitely having some problems, I want to blog, but I can't(!)
I assume many people is experiencing the same thing as I do.
It's been weeks, I guess. & it's still not solved.
Hm, perhaps I should move on using another blog site(?)
Onsugar/livejournal? Maybe. Well, shall wait & see. (:

Happy Birthday.

2009-07-30T08:49:00.000-07:00

HAPPY (belated) BIRTHDAY, DEAREST NG WEI LIANG.

I've said enough. Honey, I can't hear you.

LOA.

2009-07-18T10:53:00.000-07:00

Been issued a LOA- 39.1 degrees.
Something to be happy about or? Laughs :O
Never thought I would get it. Perhaps it's just meant to be.

I see that we're getting nowhere, dearest <\3

I AM

2009-07-18T02:48:00.001-07:00

I Am

I am a memory, waiting to be forgotten.
I am a photograph that has begun to fade.
I am the stars that always vanish.
I am the night that melts into day.

I am the wind, that one day, will settle.
I am the sun, that one day, won't shine.
I am the present, without a tomorrow.
I am a flaw, and a waste of your time.

I am a product of my predecessors.
A stain of blood upon their clean cheeks.
I am a mute child with an answer
To why the wind howls and why the lark sings.

I am the rain, waiting to dry up.
I am a dream, about to shatter.
I am a heart that is already broken.
I am a life, that no longer matters.

I am a flower, that one day will wither.
I am the hope, that soon will be lost.
I am the summer that melts into winter.
I am a snowflake, ephemeral frost.

I am the rest given to those that are weary,
A song to be sung when the sea is asleep.
I am a maiden hidden in her own mind,
With many things to say and many secrets to keep.

I am the yesterday, that's always changing.
I am the future, unwritten in stone.
I am the salty tears of the ocean.
I am an angel, without a home.

I am a woman, that cries out for mercy.
I am a demon that prays in the dark.
I am the musician that plays no music.
I am an ember, a fire's last spark.

I am the summer, and once was the autumn,
The coldest winter and most radiant spring.
I am a bird with new hope,
With new wings and songs to sing.

I am a child, afraid to look forward.
I am a man, afraid to look behind.
I am a feather, that keeps on flying,
I am the darkness that melts into light.

I am the knowledge that has been rejected.
I am the cloud, that brings forth rain.
I am a goddess, that heeds destruction.
I am the one, that cries for your pain.

I am the music box that sings ever softly,
Waiting for someone to hear its melody.
I am a labyrinth full of questions,
Riddles with no answers and new sites to see.

I am a slave, torn away from freedom.
I am a bird, caught in a golden cage.
I am the poet, lost without rhythm.
I am a reader, who can't turn a page.

I am a flute, that sings of peace.
I am a child that sees what is true.
I am a product of this earth’s nature.
I am what makes the sky azure blue.

I am a fool caught in a web,
Of hopes, fears, and forgotten dreams.
I am a nightmare, looming within you,
Making you weary, making you scream.

I am a statue whose beauty is broken.
I am a tongue that doesn't shed lies.
I am the water that cleanses your spirit.
I am a person that doesn't yearn to die.

I am an arrow, shot by cupid.
I am a lonely spirit in the forest.
I am the song that needs no singing,
I am a ghost finally put to rest.

I am the mage, instrument of evil,
Enchanting your spirit, capturing your heart.
A puppet of love, pulling you together,
Then little by little tearing you apart.

I am your conscience, making you weary.
I am your mind, making you dream.
I am the voice in your ear, whispering.
I am the fear that makes you scream.

I am all that is broken.
I am the black in a raven's eye.
I am a dream that lingers forever.
I am the limit found beyond the sky.

I am the past, and I am the future,
A whirlwind of nonsense, a mystery.
I am a paradox with riddle,
With no one to solve or comprehend but me.

I am a dancer, yet without a partner.
I am the sorrow, without dismay.
I am the happiness that lurks in the shadows.
I am a dog that has gone astray.

I am a believer that believes…. in nothing.
I am a baby that no longer cries.
I am the taste of honey on your lips.
I am a person that has touched the sky.

I am a novel, yet without an ending.
I am a red rose caught in full bloom.
I am a daffodil that grows in winter.
I am a temple encrypted with runes.

I am the mist, born from the ocean,
With rolling hills of blue evergreen.
I have found hope in the rising tide,
Because it has sheltered and protected me.

I am the tears of Amaterasu.
I am an angel born from the sea.
I am the gentle wind of Autumn.
I am the daughter of Adam and Eve.

I am a spider caught in its own web.
I am a remnant of something once warm.
I am a wolf that no longer howls.
I am the bird that sings in the morn'.

I am a princess, banished from her kingdom,
Cursed and doomed to forever walk alone.
I am vagabond with no compass,
No map, and no shelter to call a home.

I am a book that hasn't been opened.
I am a quill that no longer writes.
I am a leaf that keeps on changing.
I am an owl that glides through the night.

I am a dreamer, caught in her own world.
I am a thorn can that rip you apart.
I am a nightmare, something left unspoken.
I am the promise for a broken heart.

I am the daughter of Athena.
I am the goddess of my own fate.
I am the one with power.
I am someone who draws lines for hate.

I am the snow of the dreary winter.
I am the spirit of gentle spring.
I am the heat of radiant summer.
I am a bird that in Autumn, sings.

I am an artist, without a paintbrush.
I am a dreamer without a fantasy.
I am a poet without inspiration.
I am the evil found within beauty.

I am a journal, blank and waiting,
For someone to write in with blood red ink.
I am the sunrise, and the sunset,
Primrose and twilight, making the sky pink.

I am the dove and I am the raven.
I am someone that can fly with tattered wings.
I am the one with power to keep on going.
I am someone who lives with old dreams.

I am the product of an untold story.
I am the past hidden in the new.
I am the future hidden in the forlorn.
I am the dark star that calls to the few.

Euphonious melody, my voice keeps on singing,
I am the wind singing your lullaby.
“close your eyes and fly away love,
Hush now, darling, don’t you cry.”

I am the fire that looms within you.
I am a figment of your insane mind.
I am a riddle without an answer.
I am a maiden that is out of time.

I am a flower rejected by nature.
I am a woman with no regrets.
I am a photograph that is fading.
I am a memory you will forget.

To ...

2009-07-07T06:25:00.001-07:00

Part 1: To Say Goodbye
Love; It can make you smile for the rest of your life,
but it can also make you cry for the rest of your life.
Yet why are we always taking the risk,
and even plunge further into the river of love
when we know we are going to drown in sorrows?
Maybe that's the power of love: I will be contented,
even with the two hours of tears alone, just for that one second of kiss with you.

Part 2: To Forget You; To Remember You
When you fall in love, you get controlled by your emotions:
You will do the silliest and stupidest thing.
You follow what your emotions tell you to do.
And your emotions are controlled by the person you love deeply.
Your lover's emotions are controlled by you.
Basically, when you are in love, you only laugh because he laughs,
or you only cry because she cries.
Emotions are no longer controlled by humans,
but by the love shared.
The power of love: So strong that you wonder hopelessly what had happened to you.

Part 3: To Love You
Sometimes, to love someone is uncontrollably easy:
All it takes is just a glance, and that glance will open floodgate of emotions.
Sometimes, to love someone is bizarrely difficult:
It takes a link by fate and years of memories.
But always to love someone and to re-love someone again,
it is so inexplicably exotic, because it takes a glance to flush back years of memories
and then to allow a floodgate of emotions to engulf you.

Full moon.

2009-07-07T05:46:00.000-07:00

Baby, it's a beautiful full moon tonight.
Each time when I look up the sky & see that,
I would be all ecstatic, jumping for joy,
you would be there to enjoy the spectacular view with me too,
as you are nonetheless same as me, we love it.
Such romantically pretty, needless to speak for it, it has spoken.
But this time round, I'm not, so sadly no.

Instead, I feel so inexplicably sad for the fact that you're not here with me.
Baby, how long must I wait to watch it once again with you?.
At this special occasion/night, I miss you a million times more than
a normal day itself. Hubby, IMISSYOU ):

我爱黄炜樑, ♥

Oh, spammers.

2009-07-03T03:14:00.000-07:00

Oh, look look. I've not been online for some time, & the spammers are here again.
Hello lil kiddy bitches ;D Who're you to judge to me. Even my Mother has no comments on whatever I'm wearing. You do? Mama from which town aye? Mind introduce yourself?
Oh please, grow up. Don't tell me you don't see people in the streets wearing even more revealing clothes than what I have right here. This has been me, my peeps know it.
I suppose you're someone I don't know, definitely, you don't understand so shut the fuck up.
Mind you maybe I should apologize for the explicit photo up here, because you guys are just too young or rather immature to see all these, rated NC 16 or come on, even lesser? Sorry that I overestimated you. Bear in mind that people do have different angles of taking photos, but I don't take it deliberately just to show off some flesh here. Oh please. Don't be such an idiot.
Zzz. Did I ever ask for anyone's comments in the first place. Keep it to yourself,
cause I fuckin' don't think that I've any problems with my body. Why not just take a look at yourself before you comment on anything. The particular Passer-by, I assume you're my primary school fiend. Because the number's way too old, you've not been updated hur.
Laugh it off, I've an unpleasant primary school memories. For what I am, you don't need to bother. I've people getting all jealous over some shits, just nothing better to do, perhaps.
Hey, come on'. Grow up. FYI, all those numbers you have stated, I called all of 'em.
How efficient I am eh? & all of them all what? Some unknown numbers & people.
One of them is don't know what Brandon & I asked him if he knows anyone by the name of Kizuko, he answered like he don't even know what on earth is happening.
So, I assume, it's some random number. Okay, forget it. The second one, the mother answered.
I told her what happened again too. She gave me a 'Huh?' kinda tone. Oh, please.
Third one, best- nobody answered. Is this the best that you can do?
Don't give me all these fuckin' shit, if you can't even talk to me in a proper manner.
Get lost from here, stop dirtying my tagboard. Get a life, I don't do entertainment for free.
;D

.

2009-06-27T01:25:00.000-07:00

School holidays is coming to an end already, aww.
I've no mood to study at all. I've not yet touch my homework.
I haven't even wash my shoes, bag & socks.
I even misplaced my textbooks & all, so crumpled.
What a disaster. I've to dig every corner of my house for school.
Hope I can gather myself into the right state.
Sigh, I need to go Kbox, be it reducing stress, enjoying &
forgetting him here w/o me, using the coupon before date line,
it has to be a good thing in every ways. Hm,
I hadn't cried for one day alr, doing fine, I guess.
Gonna be stronger, for the sake of everyone, everything (;
Spent my days at 64 nowadays, ton-ed at Damien's house last night.
64 go chalet, ah, seems so dead. But SengYang, SengTiong & Damien
saves the day. Still, bored bored, very bored ._.
Kbox tomorrow, hurray.
Happy Birthday to Damien Chong Boon Wei.

Baby, I'm great, I'm strong! This is what you wanted best. Iloveyou. ♥

Missing you.

2009-06-24T23:45:00.000-07:00

Happy 54th Day, baby. ♥ 5 days without you here (':
It's sad to see your loved ones being taken away by the longs arms of law.
Hubby, I cried a river for you.

Babybaby, there's so many things I wish to tell you,
when you weren't with me these 5 days.
Never had I thought of that I wouldn't get the chance again.
The worst nightmare has arrived. I didn't expect it to be so soon,
when you told me you were going to meet me that night 'Soon, misses.'
That was the end. You left me hanging, without bidding farewell &...
It just came without warning, baby. Had I know that what you were going to do
was gonna take you away, I wouldn't have allow that.
I've not seen you like for an eternity, though it's just merely 5 days.
How am I gonna live on the days without you. I'm missing you, badly.
Five days ago, you just sent me home & went off. The last I've seen you,
so heartbreakingly. I miss you. I want to see you, your face,
your smile that never fails not to melt me! )':

Our 2nd month Anniversary & your birthday is round the corner,
before all these happened, I went to do research on how to make
chocolates & cake. Though I'm never good at cooking, or rather
it sucks a lot, I don't even know how to turn on a fire.
But baby, I'll try for you. It'll be a success one day, I'm sure of.
But, why didn't you wait for me. Expect the unexpected, baby. ):
& I know whenever my phone rings, your name will never appear
in my phone screen, ever again after minimum of 7 months to 3 years.
So does your face, your voice, your everything...

The memories are playing back itself, the moment I close my eyes,
your image stands in front of me. Anywhere I go, whatever things I touch,
whomever I mix with, whichever songs I listen to, have to do with you.
I think of you. They just can't seem to get out of my head.
I once told myself, I knew this day would come, one day.
I've to stand up on my both feet & be happy, still functioning well.
I always thought I've no problem with that. But, no more.
I broke down into tears whenever I think of you. I know you hated me crying,
but I'm so sorry, that I couldn't control myself anymore.
Babybabybaby, IMISSYOU.

Two nights ago, I talked to you on the phone, less than five minutes,
exchanged less than 10 sentences. You said 'Imissyou' & 'Iloveyou' before you hung.
The last time I'd be hearing from you D': Tears just keep flowing down,
like a water tap running. What can I do to stop all these.
BABY, I'm worried. Wondering how are you doing in there. Eaten? Slept well? ):
Please take care of yourself inside, & I too, will move on with life.
You left me dumbfounded with your actions & words. You once told me
there's always a reason behind whatever you're doing, & nevertheless,
it shall always be a good intention. I hope so. But I'm a nitwit,
I don't know how to comprehend, I still need you to guide me & enlighten me in life.
Without you, I'm so lost. There were a few questions I wanted to ask you,
I'm confused, yet, I'd never get the chance. We were so dysfunctional
before you went in. I've yet to get an answer to that. I can't give you 100% assurance,
just like how you said, there wasn't such thing as implicit trust.
I love you very much, that's one thing for sure. I believe in our profound love, baby.
Even if I were to lose my mind for you, I'd wait. No matter are we going to be
together after your release & my waiting, I told myself I'm not bothering.
Because I want you to be happy, to be on the right track. Hah,
easy to say, hard to do eh? I'm so selfish, I hoped you could solely be mine,
belong to me only. If I say I'll not be upset if we're not together
at the end of the day, that would be a laugh, a joke.

My feelings towards you is beyond words already.
Hubby, you haven't fulfil what you promised, you said you will accompany me
to my next hospital appointment check-up, you said you will eat my first
KFC breakfast with me. You said so many things...
Without you...
Nobody is gonna buy me kinderjoy again.
Nobody can accompany me to eat breakfast before sunrise anymore.
Nobody can hug & kiss me like you did.
Nobody can allow me to cheat playing poker.
Nobody can make me laugh the way you did so easily.
Nobody can laze in bed with me, watching TV, hugging me & telling me sweet words.
Nobody can make me feel as blissful being with you.
Nobody can joke with me for the silliest thing in the world.
Nobody can share with me fascinating stories that left me in awe.
Nobody can hold me like you did in cinema & anywhere else.
Nobody can do such crazy & daring things like you did.
Nobody can watch the phase of moon changes with me.
Nobody will fool around with me in Taxi/bus,
letting me lie on your laps whenever I'm tired, stroking my hair gently,
trying so hard to bend down just to kiss me.
Nobody will argue with me for the lamest matter.
Nobody will challenge me for the spelling nor pronunciation of words.
Nobody can be as retard as you, with your mushroom head, being an eye sore.
Nobody can break my heart like you did & make me smile like I've never done before.
Nobody will eat roti-prata with me in the middle of the night.
Nobody will act cute & act mushy with me to gain my forgiveness.
Every little single detail in life, nobody nobody but you.
No one else can replace you in my heart & no one else can
love you like I do so deeply. Say I'm awesome, baby. Laughs :')

The sentence gonna be out on 21st July, I'll be praying for your well-being.
Hoping for the best for you, ILOVEYOU. Take care.

Are you, are you thinking of me now, as my mind revolves with your image,
again and again? I miss you & I'll be waiting.

Baby, deep down inside my heart, I still believe in that promise & holding on to it,
that we will be married together forever...

KAIXUAN!

2009-06-22T21:27:00.000-07:00

Say HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO QUEK KAI XUAN, AIAI! ;D

Saying this for the second time, sorry once again for spoiling your day with my emotions.
& hitting you so hard, but bear that in mind, it's a birthday bash! HOHO.
& for not giving you any presents, 'cause I've no time at all & been low quite lately.
BUT, I still love you very much. Hah. I hope for the best for you.
Take in consideration whether you wanna accept that handsome dude of yours.
Laughs, I'll be there for you when you need me. Thanks for everything. (;

Went down to AIAI's Birthday BBQ yesterday & it actually turned out disastrous.
Haha, I mean, it's absolute fun nevertheless. There were a number of 20 people least.
Hm, disastrous because the cake & charcoal are flying. D: Oops.
Thanks to D.Teo's masterpiece, I was so dirtied. Laughs. But yeah, I know,
though some of the them are pretty annoying, they just meant to cheer me up.
Didn't get the chance to say thank you to all of you, so here it is. THANK YOU GUYS. (:
It's fun hanging out with you all, though the start of they day is a lil unpleasant.
Hm, thanks for the offer to be a Christian, D.Khew. But I'd never want to be one ;x
HEHE. Sorry. I'll TRY to make it on Saturday, like you said. Keke.
KaiXuan, don't be disappointed. They're a bunch good friends of yours.
Perhaps they fail to see it this time round & have been a tad irresponsible.
Likewise, it'll get better in time. No worries k. (;

BBQ and all ended at 11pm+ after the search for the keys that KaiXuan lost.
Cheerup. Waited at her house for somebody till 2am+, but again, he stood me up, somehow.
Laughs, I shouldn't have been so silly to raise my hopes high. Like a FOOL.
Anyway, it's been 65 hourse since I last met him. Also, 65 hours since I last had a proper meal.
Gah, I'm waiting. I don't even know how to contact you, bloody fool. Misses. <3

Down for another BBQ at ECP. This time round is Pam's. Teeyah, Naf, Ain, Noraini, Pam
& Sihui will be there too. At least the ones I know. Lol. It has been a looooonggg time,
since I last meet them. Boo, (: Hope to have fun later on. Keke.

I'm trying very hard to be happy, without you here, love.

HEARTACHE.

2009-06-20T20:49:00.000-07:00

Internal breakdown.

I'd once believed in the love that told me lies.
What was meant by forever, when you actually told me so.
Yet, in a blink of eye, you said you'd never believed in that.
Was it all an illusion, or had I really heard/comprehend wrongly.
What about all those promises we've come down with all along,
were they just empty words of yours. I'm still holding on to that.
But I can feel you've no longer love me like before. It's too much,
too much for a heartache, baby. I can't take this any longer.
Never do it the hard way. I don't think it will do any good.
'Çause I once said this, no matter how hard this journey gonna takes,
how many disputes & obstacles we've gonna overcome, whatever it takes,
just to be with you. Unless you don't want to. I guess,
I've gone crazy over you. I plunged into this river of love,
though I've feared & know how much it gonna hurts.
Yet, still I've gotten myself into this pathetic state.
I don't care how miserable it is. I'd love to be by your side.
Baby baby, tell me. Does your every words still applicable?
Am I still your everything. Surpassing everyone and anything in your life,
does that still apply? Baby, I can't afford to lose you now.
I see myself so unimportant, so insignificant to you.
Warm me up, will you. Say, say you won't leave me.
I don't understand how much we've gone through,
can't compared to some nonsense(?) of mine. What you've put me through.
I know you're busy these few days, neglected me, I'll bear that.
BUT why. When I told you I'll be waiting for your message,
you don't even bother to text me, but have the time to tag someone,
early in the morning at 7.06am '**** you!''Is this a joke?
When all night I've been waiting, worrying about you, wondering if you're fine.
Baby, I'd given my ALL to you. So sad, but true.
I hated myself for being obsessed, I should have seen it coming along.
I'm withdrawing from this a little by little. Loosen up, not gonna tied you down
any further. Just hoping we could go back to the days, when you've said,
you love me so much. )':

Everything seems so empty. For the past few days, every single movement seems empty.
Even in a crowd of people, I feel lonely, I feel like you are the only person in the world who can wipe out the loneliness in me.
Every single second, I think of you, I think of ways to make you smile, I imagine where are you now,
and every single second, you are like a part of me, and I see you more than I see myself because the moment I close my eyes,
your image stands in front of me.

I'm sorry, that I caused distress to you, for everything.

-

2009-05-30T08:02:00.000-07:00

An aching heart is disturbed in its silence

Rivers of tears running underneath pulchritudinous features
Hiding the dark truth about life,
Cruelness as a whole, how it corrupts the good,
Beating down the better and the strong

A lively duo, kind people dreaming of a time that may never come,

Secrets drive a woman mad,

Sneaking leave her crazy, bound in a prison
Made with the old bones of a dead and maybe even broken heart.

Likely, a smile rushes to a portrait in company

Behind bright eyes, a puffy redness,
Swollen from the ongoing tears, without a care.
Only a fool could let up such an incredible girl
A nitwit with a deceitful mind and a rotting core

Destruction comes to play, a fire, glowing hot with heat,
A warm comforting light at first, disintegrating a forest
And the fondness becomes fury.

Friendships are all that is left to save her from complete insanity,
But while the pain lasts more love is coming,
No decent would leave her alone to confront an old face.

An embrace erases the mistakes made in the past;
Only forgiveness can cure the depressed soul.
The guests and onlookers can only frown and shake their heads,
"And they had something good."

Poseur.

2009-05-28T09:35:00.000-07:00

What's wrong with 2A people hur? No sense of originality.

Elain, this is by yours, credit. HAH (:

HELLO GIRL, I don't quite get the situation right here.

Why are you the one spitting vulgarities and got so agitated,

instead of me? You're kinda selling away yourself, aren't you.

Laughs. I don't even wish to blow the matter up, but you're the one

who started it all first. Did you think I don't know all this while

when you've trying to do all these shit? Laugh it off. Despite knowing,

I spoke nothing about it. When I tried to speak to you nicely,

how did you response. Well, I want nothing much really.

This is sorta kiddish. Fancy your English is not bad,

why would you have to copy. Zzz. Well, I'm not asking for much.

All I demand is just an apology and some clarifications to be made.

& hello, don't speak like you're being maligned & be so righteous about it,

having your immature friends who not know the truth standing up for you.

Just a bunch of ignorant kids. You're not all so holy, my dear.

Just admit it, when you're in the wrong, why insist on arguing.

If you still don't, evidence is up there ^. What more do you wish to say.

Just few of 'em up here only, you know yourself the best. I'm lazy to find out.

It's hilarious when you said I threaten you and all those bullshit.

Suppose you didn't comprehend fully what I'm saying uh. Lousy asshole.

I'll have it out with you, if you want. Would you like to have a talk or something? (:
Just so you know, I hate people calling me BITCH- are you referring to yourself.

Can't help but to add on, you're a disgrace.

27th Day with you, baby. ♥

I love you. Muamuaaaa (:

.

2009-05-26T08:51:00.000-07:00

Look! Who's the poseur who states she doesn't care? :D

http://e-scapedfairytale.blogspot.com

Yet, it's plain to see from the start had she really.

School hadn't been the least great at all. But, MYE is over. *Cheerios.

& June Holidays are just round the corner. Just 3 more days to bear with,

then I'm done with what school has to bring. Excluding from having CCA

& perhaps supplementary lessons too, in the hols. *Cross fingers.

Well, my 'dearest' PE teacher confiscated my couple ring last Monday,

& this Monday, he confiscated my mobile phone. Damn. I ain't feeling good 'bout it.

So much stress putting me on. Crap, I'm gaining weight, I'm losing sleep.

I'm just like a walking zombie. I'm unbeautiful. Wildest emotions engulfing.

Shittymama, Yeo Chin Gek ain't herself no more. BUT, it will get better in time.

No doubt, I have always believe in that. Laughs. (:

Holymama, I flunked my Maths paper this time in MYE.

Though I'd expected that I would do badly as I didn't put much effort

& heart into revising and all, but never did I think I would fail.

First time in my life, I failed a paper in examinations. *Claps.

Guess the days down the road aren't gonna be any better than these.

Phew. So got back my results, but not the final one stated in report book.

English - 89/140

Maths - 48/100

Science - 51.5/100

History - 42/60

Geography - 45/70

HCL - 67.25/100

Lousy shitty results. Grr. However how much I'm disappointed,

I know grieving over it wouldn't change anything. So might as well...

Yeah, just work harder & do better next time. (:

Something might have affected me during that period of time,

but I bear no grudges at all, so you shouldn't feel remorseful too.

Everybody thinks you're at fault when it comes to the wrongdoing of mine.

Examples like coming home late, never go school and etcetc.

I'm so sorry. So sorry that people blamed it on you, when it had nothing

to do with you, that you were always the villain in their eyes.

I hope I could change their point of views. Oh well, baby, don't dwell on it too much.

You know I love you, you know I do. Baby, it isn't fading.

I guess I shall not elaborate on my life too much.

Nothing drastically different from yours, but definitely better. Chey!

It's pretty simple for you guys to see. But from where I stand,

it just can't get any better than these. Heavenly. (: HAH.

Life has been great so far, sometimes I think arguments are just inevitable,

so nothing much to complain about. Couldn't feel more blessed,

being together with you, baby. Laughs. Well, nobody would be interested to find out too.

Just a summary. Watched 'Night At The Museum 2', 'The Uninvited',

'X-Men, The Origin' and 'Angels & Demons' already. Not missing any of 'em out,

w/o baby. 'Night At The Museum 2' was with 64 peepos, those great people.

Hah. All of em' are fabulous movies, catch them someday. Rate overall: 4.5/5.

Gotta go, someone's pissed off! Ended typing @ 1.57am. (:

Lost for words.

2009-05-13T23:30:00.000-07:00

Screams&shouts* Fuck those arguments! ~!@#$%^&*()_
The feeling is so overwhelming, yet I've to put in so much effort,
to suppress my emotions, just to keep to my promise of not crying.
Fuck, you know how much I hated it when we quarrelled,
how much my heart aches that I couldn't withstand it that
I wish I could hit anything around me till I bleed on the outside.
Fuck, you know how tedious is it. If you are, so am I-
sick and tired of this. It's merely just 12 days, baby.
I don't wish to concede defeat. I hope we will last, honestly.
Can you give me your words. No more arguments over small matters.
My heart pounded so hard that I wanted to shut myself in & out.
I didn't expect it would turn out this way, every night.
My mind keeps telling me that I'm fine, yet my heart screams
that I'm not okay at all. Fuck, if only you know how much I love you.
It's not that I don't want to tell you what I'm thinking always,
what my thoughts really are. I'm build up this way that
I always let my mind wanders. I don't even know what the hella
am I thinking, how am I suppose to tell you. Yes, again,
it is emotions running high and imaginations running wild.

I don't know how to fit my thoughts into expressing by words.

I'm such a dumbass that I need you in my life to enlighten me.
If only you could give me some time to change who I'm really are.
I'm willing to, but I've to take one step at a time. Can I.
I'm speechless somehow, lost for words, always.
Guess you'll think it's lame & rubbish like always.
Not trying to get anywhere writing this, just to let you know, baby.
Iloveyou & will always do, be it in the past, in the present or
in the future. I hope we will be together years down the road & not just

about loving only. You're ever so careful with your words, aren't you.

Although I don't really believe in this word 'forever', but I hope

it really does exist, as well as fairytale.

Do you feel the same way like I do, do you.

Baby, I ♥ you, Ng Wei Liang.

Peekchas.

2009-04-22T05:49:00.000-07:00

^ Just for laugh.

^ D&T job, pimary school standard. HAH.

Speech Day is finally officially OVER. Jumped for joy*

A load off my chest, again. But MYE is around the corner.

Have to strive very hard this time round, as my studies have been deteriorating,

since the beginning of this year. Or should I put it this way,

that it has been after I came back to 64 again. Sighs.

I don't know if I've made the right decision, because it's true that,

things have been going haywired for me, after I've stepped in once again.

You know; crying for no particular reasons, which sounds like depression to me.

And VERY stressed out in school of my studies, as I set high expectations for myself,

but I'm not doing homework, as I'm too addicted into coming 64.

Always coming back late at home around 11plus or so, then here comes

rushing of homework, which eventually slept later, insufficient sleep leading to

sleeping in class, leading to getting scolded by teachers & gradually,

I have dark circles under my eyes, aww! All these suck a big time.

& quarrels between friends, because I actually showed attitude towards them,

I didn't want to, but I was having heavy moodswings recently.

Grr. Good thing they actually gave in. Hm, what else? Injuries, yes!

Sometimes, it's just unavoidable. Playing basketball tends to get hurt.

& I skipped my dance lessons at MG. Now, Jae, the dance director,

is being nice to me. He just suspended my account, so that I can go back

anytime I would like to. But, I don't know if I should. Zzz. Considering the fact that,

I have spinal injury and serious STM. Even if I learnt, I can't even remember

the dance steps. Which means it's a wastage of money. Duh.

Love life is in a mess once again, to believe or not to. It's really frustrating too.

If you ask me to choose between two, I have simply no idea. It's draining me out.

I assume this year gonna be a hectic year for me, as it's streaming year too.
Just so so many things to do, )':

I flunk my Maths CT3. FLUNK, imagine. Quite a big blow to me.

But I've seen it coming cause I left almost half of the paper BLANK.

Just what the effing hella am I thinking about. Damn, +_)(*&^&%$#@!~.

Scored 8/30, unacceptable seriously. I appeared to be the LAST person

in position according to this maths test, in the WHOLE express stream.

I laughed sarcastically at myself. Just how lousy can I be.

I never failed any papers in my life before & for the first time I failed,

it's already so badly done, not to mention I'm the last. Gah.

Shittymama. I've lost interest in every subjects except for English.

I'd better start conversing with them, if not they'll fail me! Hah.

Science class is extremely boring. It may be the cause that I don't like

the subject, or because the way the teacher teaches really CMI.?

Hah. God knows. & I find it so hilarious yesterday at science class.

My partner, Eric, he's funneh. I was texting someone, & he saw it.

He said 'Woah, so good ah, can sms." Then, I turned and looked at him.

I was astonished. He was actually playing his PSP!. Lmao.

Sometimes, I dislike communicating with him, cause he's violent --

I'm just beside him, when he wants to call me, he'll like hit my hand,

and keep calling my name continuously. Irritated. I told him off.

Then, he learnt his lesson. He rubs my hand softly & calls my name.

LOL. Isn't that cute of him. Laughs. He's a new student, so well. (:

Yesterday, went for HCL CT2 as well as singing test.

Well, I sang LoveStory with Jinger. Gah, was so anxious,

I believed we've sang badly and had been a laughing stock. Laughs.

Wanted to retest again. But still must sing infront of class, sianxz.

As for HCL, was late for 1/2 hour for the test. Ms Heng was fuming with anger.

I was unaware, and when I got close to her to retrieve the paper.

The machine gun started doing its job. Laughs. She scolded halfway,

and gave us the paper, leaving it with us for no extra time.

But thank god, I manage to finish in time, yet I think Im not going to do well.

I've never been doing well for HCL, it's too difficult. Gah.

& after the test ended, she scolded us again. Well, I admitted

it's our wrong. So well, I apologised. Heh. (:

Last weekend has been enjoyable & fun. Haha.

Saturday, after Speech Day, which I think it turned out quite successful. (:

Went out with Patrick, JooTong, JooHoe, Bernard, Damien, Daryl,

JieMin, LinLin, JiaXin, KuanYao, NJP, LiYi, ZhiQiang, AhHock&his girl,

&& someone else, I think? Can't remember at all, paiseh! ;x

Went to Pennisula, to buy guitar which eldest brother wanted.

Aftermath, went to Marina, played arcade and all, slacked.

Watch the movie '17 again'. It's a fabulous movie, catch it sometime (:

Rate : 4/5. Went back with blistered feet, aww, painpain,

which lasted for 3days. Feel alot better now. Heh. Geykiang,

wanted to be taller than others, wore my beloved heels of 4.2inches.

Buay tahan, flabbergasted, went to FourSkin to buy a new pair of slippers.

HAHA, typical aye. Well, Sunday, went to Sentosa with another bunch of people.

Francis, Gary, Damien, SengYang, SengTiong, Edmund, TingFei.

Initially, we cabbed to JurongEast Swimming Complex, but it was closed.

Damn, wasted. Then, train-ed to Vivo. Was pulled down by Gary to the sea.

Despite me reminding him so many times that I had blisters, and that the

seawater hurts my eyes. Gah. So, well, quite a fun day. But it was scorching hot.
Some activities in between before returning back to Vivo.

Had Sushi Tei for dinner. & I swear I won't step into the restaurant again.

It costs a bomb! I only ate 6 plates & it costed $30+. Zzz.

One plate of sushi from the conveyor belt at NiHon Mura costs 99cents,

there at Sushi Tei costs $6.50. Sucha big difference.

Felt like being sucked. LOL. Well, everybody went back with a grumpy face.

Unlucky day/night, I guess.

& just like I said before, nobody is trustworthy. Daryl Chong proved me right.

Should I feel thankful towards you uh. More than 6 secrets of mine are exposed,

just in one night. Apparently, he seems like a loudspeaker to me. Lol.
I don't know who else I can believe in anymore. I don't even know

why the effing hella did I tell him in the first place. That's so unlike me.

Grr. Huge disappointment in you, you know!? You didn't even apologise,

yet you argued with me, trying to turn things around, to make it feel

that you're not resposible and that you can escape for what you've done.

Hilarious, good try. But it doesn't work. I said this before,

"Just you remember this."

Wellwell, I think I should end here. I don't want to hold back somebody from sleep.

Laughs. It's 1am in the morning, baby! & I don't feel like going to school.

Everyday, there is a test. I'm growing sick over all these. )';

Love is the sweetest lie I've ever known before.

Is it true this time round? Or should I go for another way round.

皮草。

2009-04-18T12:51:00.000-07:00

Peekchas~
I'm not sure when the next update will be, but I would like to take the opportunity,

to apologise to NgWeiLiang because of the harassing part thingy. Lol.

I don't know if you will get to read this, but I'll just say...

"Sorry, NgWeiLiang. You ~~sucks~~ rocks a big time".

Laughs. I'm done here, stop chasing after me for an apology anymore. (:

Bomb.

2009-04-10T21:06:00.000-07:00

Yooohooo~ Sorry for not blogging sucha long period of time.

I bet nobody miss me anyway. Laughs. Apparently, I've changed my blogskin.

I've been wanting to, but was too lazy + busy. Heh. Any comments people? (:

Next, the content will be stuffs, that happened days/weeks ago.

Haha. Okay; Ready, get set, go!

Firstly, there are quite a few 'new 64 committee members'.

Or maybe it is of that I've not been coming out for so long,

that I didn't get update of what's going on.? Hah, most probably.

Basketball is part of my life, once again since 2 years ago?.

Heh, I'm feeling ever so ecstatic winning Babi, ChenYi, SengYang & co over ABC.

Well, because I'm only good at shooting. Sucks at matches and etc.

But I know I can never win JooHoe, my idiotic brother. Gah!

I gonna defeat him someday, I swear. Tsk. Heh.

I'm so absorbed into basketball lately, that I don't even wanna touch

the stack of homework I have, waiting for me in one corner.

This is not the way, I know. Mid Year is just around a few weeks' time.

I WANT to study and score well. I CAN'T afford to fail or get anything below B4's.

Uncertain if I can make it. I still want to get into top 10 in our class.

But this year round will be more difficult than last year, cause there's 9 more

people joined our class this year. No doubt, it'll be more competitive

compared to last year which means, I gonna work extra harder... Sighs.

Recently, I tried to study, but can't get anything into my stupid head.

Don't know what the effing hella is with me. Grr.

Had NAPFA last Tuesday. I aimed for all A's. But, failed to.

Standing Broad Jump - 184cm =A

Sit & Reach - 41cm = B

Sit-Ups - 43 = A

Shuttle Run - 11.4s = B

Inclined Pull-Up - 30 = A
Shittymama. Had stomach cramps, if not I can do better for ShuttleRun!

Sighs. Can you imagine, I get 9.8s when I was in primary school.

HAHA. Don't know how I manage to. Stomach cramp is still with me,

since last week. Sighs. Had a hard time doing sit-ups because of it.

& when I laugh or wake up from bed, I have difficulties too. Zzz.

Always having medical problems. Spiral, arm, head, stomach etc. Alamakk.

& now, I'm having slight fever & flu & sorethroat. Sighs.

Despite all these, I consider myself as an able-bodied, healthy person too, HAH.

2.4km run is next Wednesday, chiongchiongpiapia! :D

Went out with LinLin, JiaXin, NJP, Daryl, JooTong & myself on previous last Sunday,

29/03/09 @ Bugis to watch Confessions of a Shopaholic. I know it's like years ago.

JooTong, my big brother bought me this pair of lovely heels from Charles & Keith,

at the cost of $49.90 as a belated birthday present. Heh. Happy like a bird.

Other than that, I bought myself 5 pair of shoes & two dresses in that particular week too.

Me, a shopaholic. I can't help but to agree with my brother that,

indeed I don't need all these clothes and all, as I've plenty of them at home,

which could be stack into a gigantic mountain. Also, what he said was actually right.

I jumped at any stores which have sales going on. He said that there's so many sales

going on in SG, I bound to bump into some on the streets. Which is quite true.

Recently, I shopped at Blossomz, Charles&Keith, Zimple, Vans and etcetc.

Some of the which considered well-known brands. I've been spending my moolahs

so much, running out of cash. Sighs. I'm not embarrassed to let known that,

I live in a 2-room flat, my house is effing messy that you don't even wanna step in.

& practically, there's no space for me to allocate my stuffs alr! Gah.

I've more than 30 pairs of shoes in the house, just imagine.

Frankly speaking, I'm just a 14 years old girl & ain't from a well income family.

Hai. I find myself alike to the main character in the movie, Confessions of a Shopaholic,

Rebecca Blumewood. I don't even dare to think about the future,

which it eventually will become worse, I guess. Each time I watch a movie,

I bound to find myself immerse in it. That's why sometimes I cry.

Well, for this, it's totally. As I find myself similar. Blah.

Another movie, again, 12 rounds this time. Went to Plaza Sing with,

Patrick, NJP, Jordon, Damien, Daryl, KitMun, LinLin, JiaXin, JooTong,

JooHoe, KuanYao and myself. Exactly 12 people. Haha. Coincidence.

It was the second time so embarrassed in my life watching movie.

The first time was tumbling down in a cinema holding a packet of popcorn.

& the whole thing flew off. It was a mess. Laughs. This time round,

was another kinda experience. We walked into cinema, & couldn't find our seats.

Someone was sitting on our seats. We told them that they sat wrong place.

They affirmed that we entered wrong theatre. Believed, the 12 of us went out,

embarrassed, laughing our heads off while walking out. One of the GV worker

caught hold of us, and we told them what happened. Later, the person went in

and told the people. They were the ones who entered wrong theatres. HAHA.

Aww, so embarrassed. We were like fools too. When the movie ended,

I took a look at my handphone and saw a message my mother sent me.

Instantly, I cried my heart out as I was so afraid. Whole makeup was smudge.

My eyes were sore and red, I cried for 2 days, panic-stricken. Vomited.

Well, my mother sent me a will message, telling me what to do when she pass away.

For reference, go take a look at my brother's blog, he did write.

The first time I cried so hard this year. Teachers talked to me, friends counselled me.

I don't want to talk about this anymore, so well. (:

Surprisingly, I got new infatuations. Oh well, emotions running high&wild.

I wouldn't reveal who the person is. But the nick itself which I named is,

Bacteria/Dollie. HAHA. I'm not certain whether it's a infatuation or what.

He's attached alr. Thought of giving up. Singlehood is still the best, afterall.

Save myself from all these heartaches. I believe I can forget him in no time,

if I persist. Another thing, WeiLiang is harassing me recently. Gah!

Get lost. I don't another breakdown again. I'm pretty sure that I won't fall for him again,

hopefully.

Can't really remember much about what happened.

I shall end here. Get a rest first, before deciding whether I should myself outta here,

and play basketball/slack at 64. Lethargic.

Breathless, ♥

Happy Super Belated Birthday to Nazri! (:

& Happy 11th Months Anniversary, My Boy. (:

Reply Of Tags :

My blog song is "そばにいるね", stop asking me anymore (:

Celine ; Hah. Sure, thankyou! ;D

Ritche ; Boo you. Lol. (:

Lala ; Yeah. (: Nice? HAHA. XD

Alicia ; Serious? Lol. I bet I was so ugly that day. HAH. Which Alicia are you btw?

YuFeng ; Thanks. (:

Janice ; Refer to above. Btw, thanks. (:

AhLiang ; Then, don't bother reading lor!

----

Iloveyou.

2009-04-07T08:14:00.000-07:00

I want to shout out loud that;

I LOVE YOU, BOY.

But is this gonna work, is it?...

Alright, I'll update in a few days time, if I'm free.

Have been quite lazy these days. I've so many things to say,

just so many. Things happened so fast, unknowingly.

Gimme some time to organise everything, & a warning,

just a little precaution. I think my next post will be a bomb.

I mean, superbly long essay. You get what I mean.?

Hah, don't bother reading it. (:

Update.

2009-03-31T08:14:00.000-07:00

I've been pressing by my friends to update. Also,

myself, so many little things happened lately. I wish to share too.

Laughs. Firstly, today we had our band SYF, in fact,

my first SYF. Yeah, no doubt that I was all tensed up,

before it even started, I cried. The first to cry *cheers -.-

When I was on the stage, I felt that it wasn't that scary,

though I still feel nervous and scared. Overall, the experience was okay.

Went to SCH again to wait for the results with some of the many band mates.

And many of us cupped our ears, afraid that we would hear what we don't wanna.

So, still it must go on. We got a BRONZE. Yup, surprising, disappointed?

I was appalled. Well, but there wasn't anything I could do. Cry?

Well, they did, more than half the band did, I guess. Sighs.

It was over. We couldn't possibly use a gun & threaten the judges, could we.

We should smile and accept that fact. Anyway, I thought we would get a Silver.

I didn't play well, little mistakes here and there. But I was really quite

confident that we would get one. So, in the end it wasn't.

When I saw so many cried then, I felt like crying too. But the tears just

wouldn't come out. Seemed like I've used up all my tears earlier on.

Laughs. Good grief me, which was actually a good thing.

I don't wish to cry at the end of the day, appearing I regretted and so.

The only thing I'm grieving about, it's whether Mr Tan will be really leaving us.

As Mrs Fawzie commented that if we couldn't get silver,

Mr Tan will get fired, who is our band conductor, which actually did happen before.

Sighs. I don't know how much this is true, but I hope that it won't happen.

Mr Tan is one of the A-Z best man in the world I've ever seen,

who has the greatest patience of all. I don't think I will ever come to that stage,

one day. Laughs. & so... Yes! SYF is finally over. After so much hardship (psst...)

I've never felt this good after sucha long time. Gotten a burden load off my chest.

I'm gonna be so much free onwards, and doubly more after speech day.

*HURRAY. One more thing, I wish to say that our band had done our best.

We will do better next time. So, pssst, no negative remarks nah!. WayToGo.

By the way, good luck to other performing arts too. (:

Anyway, today after SYF, came back to school for a short period of time,

before I went for SCH with Ms Lai and peeps by taxi, HEH.

& It was a torment. I volunteered to help the Percussion to play crash cymbals,

but Jinger wanted to play that, so I was pushed to bass drum,

which I effing hella don't know how to play. It was spontaneous,

so I didn't know to play. Eventually, it turned out disastrous.

Grr! So effing embarrassed. Throw my face till Africa liao lah.

So many commented on this and that of my playing. Of course I know!

I didn't even being taught on how to play, how would I effing know. Gah.

It's pretty easy, but I have to know the tempo & when to stop. Sighs.

What a disgrace. D-I-S-G-R-A-C-E. But stop saying that to my face.

I'll *toot you upside down. Heh. So, the moral value is...

"Don't be a kind-hearted soul, trying to help cause the one losing

at the end of the day is YOU. Kindness will never get paid. "

I shall end here & continue with it tomorrow, yes.? (;

It's late, yet I couldn't sleep.

2009-03-25T10:31:00.000-07:00

Okay, initially, I wanted to blog while waiting for the washing machine,

to be done. Because I've no more sparkling clean uniforms available already.

Laughs. & I've not yet done my homework, so I'm gonna copy from my friends,

tomorrow. & also, waiting for my hair to dry. It's now 1.55am. Gah.

How long will this takes. The washing machines is ready, & I'm done with,

drying out my uniforms, the others I shall do it when I'm back from school.

Tomorrow I'm having IPW, one of the most sickening thing on Earth.

So, gonna release late which will be around 4.30pm+. Sighs.

Not a single off-day without any staying-backs from school.

SYF is pretty close, around the corner, & it's 5 days from now. HAH.

No doubt that I'm actually nervous about the whole thing,

sincerely hope that it would turn out successful & we will be able to

achieve at least a Silver. After all, we've put in so much effort & time.

Today band prac, Principal & VP came to look at our performance & gave us

their support. But we did badly enough, oh no, maybe it was just me,

or the whole Percussion, was in a confuse state of mind. Alamak*

Never the mind. Nazri gave me this Famous Amos cookie as a birthday gift,

also to JingEr too. Hah, it looks too cute enough to be eaten aye.

Anyway, thank you very much, Uncle Nazri, I know surely you

would probably get to read this. Heh. :D

Today did happen a few things, well, unlucky things befall on me.

I was drawing out my design on the tabletPC itself for art lesson,

& it went hibernate, so the whole thing was particularly GONE.

I was almost done, ALMOST. Shittymama. It's the teachers' fault.

They didn't charge, they didn't check. Grr. Shityou. Damnyou.

Pissed off, no mood to do again. Went to sleep again, but was too hyped up.

Went around teasing and playing afool with my classmates.

I'm punching my friends nowadays, usually the guys,

but I did ask for their consent before proceeding. I'm not some

unreasonable bitch who comes out from nowhere & punch people, okay.

Laughs. So, they did survive, it was just 3 tiny weeny baby punches. (:

Some got blueblack and some were complaining of hand ache. Hah.

I'm feeling so great. Have been too stress lately. But I know this is unfair

to my sympathetic friends, heh. So sorry about it. Hope you guys

have enjoyed. Lmao. I need something to vent on, seriously.

Had been playing arm wrestling in class too. I actually did win Jafri,

omfg. That was the most remarkable achievement I've gotten so far.

HAH. Managed to win some guys too, heh. Not trying to brag.

*Whisper; Just trying to say, girls are more competent nowadays. (;

Laughs. I've been going to Gym at my dance school MG there, at ClarkeQuay.

Guess I've been straining, that's why my arms are aching like hella.

Gotta rest & no punching nor any exerted exercises anymore for now.

Oh yes, I cried during art too. Hah, water tap is having a leakage yoh.

I hadn't been crying nowadays, so maybe was suppressing my emotions.

So right then, I need to let out, it wasn't manageable anymore,

so there it goes. *Shalalala. I've been doing a great job so far.

*Claps. Haha. During Maths lesson, we were at the green lab,

tasked to do this graph thingy on Microsoft Excel. Halfway through,

the computer went haywired & damn... Gone again.

Kena caught by Ms Heng, earrings kena confiscated. Shitty.

Today is just not my day. Phew.

One of the school's toilet was on fire. To be exact,

it was located at Edison's block, third floor, boys' toilet.

So far, I've gotten the information that three guys went in,

& actually poured the fuel of the lighter into the hand dryer.

& don't know what shit they did, it ended with a mini explosion.

Alot of smoke came out from there, and the smell was unbearable.

We were at the nursing lab doing our health checkup,

when it all happened. So cool. The fire alarm went ringing,

we were asked to walk briskly to the assembly area; basketball court.

Everybody walked so slowly, thinking it was just another practice

of fire drill. Our form teacher told us it wasn't a practice,

we laughed even harder. Till we saw it with our own eyes,

we then believed. Typical. Laughs. Quite a serious case.

Police was called in to investigate, & I guess it would be handled,

as an arson case. Holymama. Goodluck to the Sec3 boys.

Rumours have been spreading around, with ridiculous shit,

about what caused the fire. & I've heard/seen really hilarious analysis,

like the toilet bowl went explode. LOL. Well, not bad for a joke. XD

Got our new Ez-link card today, finally, after the long wait.

But sadly, it was really indescribable. All our photos looked damn fugly.

Was taken during our P6s. Lmao. I've pasted a neoprint on it,

so it actually looked better. I love my big brother's photo.

His P1's photo, so damn effing cute. Aww. Anyway,

my primary school actually called me up, telling me that they found my wallet.

I lost it when I was P4. For goodness sake. After like what?

4 years? They found it. Incredible. Biggest wonder of all.

I've not gone down to collect yet. But I'm quite happy,

because my old Ez-link card was in it, & it was my P1's photo.

Aww, I miss that. My head look like an apple. HAHA.

Have been hanging around, playing basketball with Bernard,

Damien, KuanYao & all lately at night. It was sure to be enjoyable.

Hah. I'm looking forward to if anyone would like to swim with me at night.

I've been pursuading my friends, but no one seems to like the idea.

Hah. And anyway, breakdance lesson is equal to break my bones seriously.

Aches here & there, everywhere. Lol. I can almost do baby freeze alr.

Hurray. Need to practise more first, before I can make any

conclusions. & whether if it'll be a success. HAHA.

Till here, it's 2.47am. I'm off to bed now, shall continue with it tomorrow,

perhaps. Sleep well, babies (:

____________________________________

Did you ever pay attention to the feeling

in your face before you start to cry?

Can you explain the feeling when someone

hurt you and doesn't notice?

What about the feeling when you want to be

alone and everybody asks you why you're looking so sad?

What do you feel when you see someone of

whom you thought you wouldn't see this person again?

Do you know the feeling when you love someone

that much that you have to cry because you're so happy?

And did you ever like a person so much that you pray

you don't wanna fall in love with him because...

...because you know you would be happy with him.

Yet, it seems like you will never get there?

♥♥♥

Dedication.

2009-03-23T08:39:00.000-07:00

I don't know to express my feelings.

It is the first time again, after so long that I've dreamt about you, last night.

I've seen it coming when the conversation started just days ago.

I know all the emotions that I've suppressed and effort that I've put in,

in order to forget you, for so long, would go down to the drain.

I knew it the minute when we've actually started talking, and the moment,

you stepped into my house. "This ain't going to work, girl."

I've been telling myself all along. & it still is. After all, it has been five years.

I came this far, done particularly so much & ended up with nothing.

& I may be the biggest fool you've ever seen. It's something I should not be,

alarmed about though. The uncountable heartbreaks & undivided tears.

Silly enough to be drowned by your sweet lies which you excelled in,

that was when I realised I've not fogrgotten about you successfully yet.

"Well, just take your time. You can do it." Heard enough, done enough.

Staring at the phone, waiting tirelessly for your message or call. Dumbass.

Each time the phone rings, I was so elated to pick up the phone,

but only to be disappointed that the person was not you.

Wishes tend not to come true. Well, I know clearly enough that,

your name is not gonna appear in my damn phone screen, no matter what.

Hopelessly, I've given up. Can you see it. But again & again,

I tried to pick myself up from the deep fall, fighting with misery.

It is a desire to believe in your outright lies. Yet, it just won't come true.

Quiz.

2009-03-22T07:30:00.000-07:00

Asked to do by ChinYi ;

1. Besides your lips , where is the favourite spot to get kissed ?
-Forehead/Cheeks.

2. How did you feel when you woke up this morning ?
-Lethargic. Cause I slept late the night before.

3. Who was the last person / people you took a photo with ?
-JingEr, YiJun & Sheena. (:

4. Would you consider yourself spoiled ?
-Hah, I've no idea. Subjective.

5. Will you ever donate blood ?
-Although I want to, I will never, cause I'm afraid of pain. Lmao.

6. Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex ?
-Yeah. I could remember faintly.

7. Do you want someone to be dead ?
-Yah.

8. What does your last text message say?
-"Sorry, was not able to get any presents for you." -.-

9. What are you thinking right now ?
-No idea. Too many to even mention.

1o. Do you want someone to be with you right now ?
-There already is.

11. What was the time you went to bed last night ?
-4am+.

12. Where did you buy the tee you are wearing now ?
-Cotton On.

13. Is someone on your mind right now ?
-Yeah, obviously.

14. Who was the last person(s) who text you ?
-Zainul. -.- LLOL.

"Lucky" Person to do this quiz ;
1. RuiMing
2. LinLin
3. Elain
4. LiRong
5. TianHong
6. JooHoe
7. Daryl
8. KaiXuan
9. JingEr
10.Crystal

15. Who is no.2 having a relationship with ?
-Singlehood, I guess. Haha.

16. Is no.3 a male or a female ?
-Obviously, a female.

17. If no.7 and no.1 get together , would it be a good thing ?
-LOL. I wouldn't dare to imagine that. XD

18. What is no.1 studying about ?
-Sex? HAHA XD, no idea.

19. When was the last time you text them ?
-Gah, just a while ago?

2o. Is no.4 single ?
-I guess she is. Doubtful.

21. Say something about no.2
-Caring, lovely, a great friend (:

22. What do you think about no.3 & no.6 being together ?
-LOL. I've simply lost for words.

23. Describe no.9 .
-Soft spoken, A flat, pea brain. HAHA :D

24. What will you do if no.6 & no.7 fight ?
-Oh my, one is my good friend, the other is my brother. Whaddya think? (:

25. Do you like 8 ?
-She's my AIAI! She rock my ass. HAHA. ;D

Further elaboration.

2009-03-22T05:55:00.000-07:00

HAPPY ADVANCED BIRTHDAY TO CHEONG JING ER :D

Not having the mood to update about how I celebrated,

and maybe no one even bothers to read too. So, just a summary.

Went out with JingEr, YiJun, Sheena, John, Ruzaini, Jonathan,

Jafri, Erwin & Moses. Like expected of the outcome,

from around 20 people dropped to this number, it's certainly a laugh.

Wellwell, just say if you don't want to go next time,

tell the fact right to my face rather than giving excuses alright,

if you have the sincere to even say a 'Happy Birthday' which somebody didn't.

It's quite disappointing not hearing it from my closest friends,

you know. Some whom not really close with me, wished me Happy Birthday,

I thanked you very much to even bother to say just these two words.

Was exceptionally touched by someone's dedication to me,

like Daryl, Fathiyah, KaiXuan, Nazri and etc. I almost cried,

when I was reading it, I swear. Laughs. Especially Daryl&Thiyah uh.

Starting of the day 20th March, it rained heavily.

‘I don't see it as an omen- but just unavoidable.' But turned better later.

Went to Cineleisure, watched 'The Streetfighter- The Legend Of The Chun-Li'

Quite a nice movie, I don't really like to watch action pack,

but this is one of the good one. Rating : 4/5. While watching,

the boys were busily messaging one another, as they were all separated,

about the women's dressing, horny stuffs and etc. Gah, it's annoying.

Seriously. People were trying to enjoy the movie, but there they were,

making a fool out of themselves, shaking the chairs, which the whole role shook.

But somehow, I laughed at their lamest jokes too. Just purely fun.?

Aftermath, slacked around at Arcade, then went to Sakura to have our dinner.

The bill was $300 in total. Not shocking, it's Sakura, people. Laughs.

Didn't really eat to the fullest. Probably the cause that I ate popcorn and all for movie.

& my stomach couldn't really take it, as I was wearing a very tight corset.

Haha. But it's sure to be John's feast. He looked hilarious to me.

I was bewildered at his actions though I've seen enough.

When we reached there, he ran to the buffet table and took 5 plates at once,

oh wait, or was it more than that. Kept running the place around,

like a child first stepped into a theme park. I was drastically embarrassed.

I'd rather have Nihon Mura regardless of the price and all,

I find it better, it's still the favourite Japanese cuisine I love. Hah.

Sakura has more Nyonya food than sushi, my favourite there was

just Sharkfin's & no other. Hm, obviously, I've wasted my $30 there.

Took some photos too, shall post them up someday when I'm free.

Well, I've no idea how long does it gonna take. Haha.

Let's see if I ever remember. Oh! We girls took neoprint,

quite love it actually. Every girls looked goddess that day,

especially Jinger, she stunned me with her outfit that day,

but wasn't really surprised because her boyfr was there,

no doubt that she would spend hours dressing up just to look the best for him.

Coincidentally, bumped into Charlie, my breakdance instructor, at Diva.

Laughs. I was lost for words then, I was so shocked to see him there,

and quite embarrassed to let him saw me in this outfit. Lol.

He was asking me something, but I could really hear, so I was like,

'Orh, orh.' Lmao. Typical aye. After the dinner, we roamed around the streets,

left with nothing to do. By then, Moses & Jafri were already gone.

Feeling depressed as I walked, no idea why. Wanted to catch a midnight movie,

but some couldn't make it. So well, what to do, go home lor.

John&I accompanied Ruzaini to Eunos then took bus,

I think this was one of the longest chatting session we ever had. Hah.

Ruzaini alighted first. John sent me home, then at the lift lobby there,

John gave me his second gift, he put it on for me, it was a necklace,

symbolises him, 'J'. Lol. What is that for, I don't know.

I don't understand why people give their own name as a birthday present.

Except the fact that they are couples, but still, I find it odd.

Same goes to Ruzaini. Oh, the first gift was a BABI from John&Ruzaini.

HAHA. Well, I'm not racist, I love pigs too, other than bears.

Especially, Postpets- Momo&Momoko + Pandas! Roar. Haha.

Quite a celebration with immature classmates. Laughs.

No offence, my dears (:

Yesterday, went to library with Fyn. We chatted alot,

rather than focusing on our homework. Hah, it's been quite a time,

since we catch up. She gave me a Winnie The Pooh as a present.

Aww, love it. Maybe, I should take a photo of all the presents,

by the end of this month. If I ever remember, again. Hah.

Oh yeah, that day the sky appeared double rainbows,

it's a pity that I didn't manage to catch a view of it.

I got the information from my friends though.

Entirely woken up at around 4pm+ today, cause I slept at

4am+ the night before. A boring day. Luckily, I have my Twilight

borrowed from KengHwee, with me. Started to pick up the book,

putting my heart into reading in to day. & I'm at Chapter 6 only.

Alamak, I don't have time to read. I've not even done my homework.

This March Holidays was hectic for me. Band practices X 4.

Phew. That's all for now, I guess. I wanna work on that,

or maybe copy them at school tomorrow morning. (;

You left me devastatingly breathless.

Next update: Monday/Tuesday, If I've the time.

Birthday Girl, that's me.

2009-03-21T09:01:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO ME, MYSELF & I ;

KIZUKO AKA YEO CHIN GEK ♥

Firstly, I would like say a big THANKYOU to all those who wished me ;

-Akiko

-AhWei

-Amajeem

-Alan

-Alicia

-Allen

-Amanda

-Anisah

-Celina

-Celine

-Charlene

-Charlie

-ChinYi

-ChenZhen

-ChoonKiat

-ChunHui

-Cindy

-Damien

-Dann

-Daryl

-Della

-Dion

-Elain

-Erwin

-Evan

-Father

-FeiJiChang

-Fionnie

-Fredrick

-Fyn

-Gary

-HanSheng

-Hazira

-HongWei

-HweeBoon

-Jafri

-Jastine

-JieMin

-JingEr

-Joanna

-Jonathan

-John

-JooHoe

-JooTong

-Jorean

-KaiXuan

-Kimberly

-KuanTa

-Leon

-LiJuan

-LimCher

-LinLin

-LiRong

-LitTat

-Liz

-Mummy

-Natalie

-Nazri

-NJP

-Patrick

-PhinPhin

-Rain

-Regine

-RiRong

-RuiMing

-Ruzaini

-Sera

-Shaun

-Sheena

-ShuHui

-Thiyah

-TianHong

-Valerie

-Vanessa

-Vivian

-WeiJie

-WeiLiang (Leow)

-WeiLiang (Ng)

-Willem

-XiaoQing

-YiJie

-YiJun

-Yong Keong

-Zheng

& also, the passerbys who tagged in my blog. (:

I appreciate your wishes, your gifts & your dedications.

Thankyou all for everything. I'm lost for words,

to put it simply, THANKYOU! :D

I'll post again tomorrow, I'm too tired now, it's 3.40pm.

I'll take my bath & read Twilight to sleep. (:

Pictures galore.

2009-03-18T09:28:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday, Crystal & WeiJie! ♥

It's past 12am already, which means it's now 19th March.

One more day, yeah, one more day, to MY day. Haha.

Let's see how many people will wish me 'Happy Birthday',

or maybe even no one bothers to remember, I don't mind anyway.

I just truly hope that I will be truly happy on that day, not happy at the start,

and sad at the end, but throughout, till it's midnight, that's all I ask for.

I don't know why I'm so spirit-less now, I was so happy before,

because my birthday is coming. But now, well, it changes,

I'm in no mood at all, maybe it's just a moment, for now...

Well, let's wish me all the best tomorrow with all those darlings, alright.

Band was alright today (or maybe yesterday?), regardless that I kena scolded,

in the early morning, because I was late, AGAIN, no doubt. Haha.

I just CAN'T be on time, whether it's for band, or it's just going out with friends,

I can never be. I need my brothers to wake me up, but it's March Hols,

he doesn't need to go for school, so he don't bother waking me up too, I guess.

So, I need to be independent, rely on myself to wake up. Which is a big HAHA to me.

Cause I tried before, two alarms or even more beside my ears, I couldn't wake up too.

Laughs. Once, I woke up and found that there were 16 missed calls.

But I hear nothing when I was asleep, I was sleeping away soundly.

Okay, there's a thing I need to clarify, I'm a heavy sleeper, that explains why ;D

Halfway through band today, I felt really restless, though I was hyper in the beginning.

I wish to drop dead there at the moment. Sighs. Mood-less.

Performing Arts SYF rehearsal today, I was really nervous,

my heart almost fall out from my mouth. Haha. Just little mistakes here&there,

which I hope can brush up, just to be in time for SYF. Can lah uh ;D

Work hard for SYF, people, 11 more days to go only. (:

After band, met Ruzani & John at BBT. He freaked me out,

when he showed me the bra which I don't know he picked up from where.

I thought it was some animal or something. I screamed. Embarrassing.

Gah. Took bus together, because Ruz was sending Neinei home.

Wellwell, shall not talk about that, will let Jinger elaborate further will do.

Hm, went to TPY with Mummy, there was pasar malam there.

Haha, jumped for joy, but didn't have enough time to shop,

limited to only 2 hours, because Mummy had to go back to work again...

Well. I'm glad Mummy asked her boss for two hours' time to spend with me.

I'm truly happy (: Bought quilts, shoes, clothes, medicine etc.

Didn't expect to spend so much though. Well, till then. (:

Off to sleep, it's now 12.55am. Should be in bed around... 1/2am+?

I haven't see my Father at night for weeks,

just minutes per day. Laugh my ass out?

Is this how it should be? Well, then jolly well stay like this.

It's the end of heartache.

Burning Sensation.

2009-03-14T22:04:00.000-07:00

Okay, I lied. I didn't sleep before 12am, instead it's 2am+ everyday. Obviously, it just didn't work. How am I gonna figure that part out? I can't let this go on because the dark circles are getting darker each single day, and people says that one will look older if she sleeps late at night. I'm already old, very matured that people thinks I'm 18 years old -.- Since I'm on this topic, I shall share some ridiculous thoughts of people. Firstly, many think that I'm a typical ah lian from the first impression. I'm dying to know, can anybody tell me why? Well, if you're going to say, it's because of my attitude/the way I speak/walk/dress etc, Hella NO. When I was wearing my uniform, people says I am, so this has nothing to do with my dressing. When I haven't even open my mouth, people says I am, this has nothing to do with my attitude nor anything. Ridiculously, my friend's guardian even commented once from our class photo, telling my friend not to mix with me too much, because I'm an ah lian. DUH! I freakin' look so innocent in that particular class photo, alright! Her guardian was astounded when she told her that I was the Vice-Chair, and got 3rd in class last year. This is a lesson ought to be learn here :

Never judge a book by it's cover. So, why why why do I hear such things? Yeah, secondly, nobody believes me when I say I'm from Express stream, but laugh at that thought and say I must be from NT/NA. Am I telling a joke here? Hella NO. Do I look stupid? Okayokay,

I don't have much complains & restrictions about that. Because that is when you let your guard down, & I grab the chance of eating you. HAHA. Look down on me somemore. But sometimes, I might get pissed off. Thirdly, is there any problems with the way I dress? I wonder. People says I'm too young for my age to wear what I'm wearing. I don't understand, meaning what? Do I have to wear Hello Kitty clothes, just to prove that I'm a 14 years old kid? Laughs, no offence about Hello Kitty. Cause I'm a Hello Kitty lover too. Hah. So, why is it so? I have to explain that I, myself think I'm more mature than the people at my age, because I've been through more than what they had. Well, it's your judgement. Fourthly, why do people thinks that I'm a playgirl, and that I've lost my virginity? Do I look like that kind of person to you? If yes, WHY? The way I dress again? Then, read again. Gah, there's endless questions in my mind, waiting to be let out/answer. But I guess, I just have to keep it to myself, cause nobody would want to listen, and couldn't answer to it too. Be amazed that I'm not one, okay! I would like to take this opportunity to say that I'm not anything, that you think I am, I'm not simple/complicated as I look I am. I'm just living a life here. You don't know me well. Appearance means nothing, I didn't ask for any's comments. So, don't judge me. I would appreciate that (:

I was late for band last Saturday, which was three days ago. Outrageously late for 2 hours? Laughs. It is not surprising that I'm late, cause I always am. But 2 hours is not pretty acceptable, I know that. So, went to Dhoby with Jinger aftermath. Went to my house to get myself changed first, which I thought I got it done quite fast, but still, Neinei doesn't think so ): Lol. Went to her house to get herself changed, she wasn't so fast either. HAH, but faster than me, I guess, heh. While she was changing in the other room, I was lying on the bed of her room, thinking about something, which I worked so hard ~~effortlessly~~, and ended with nothing in the end. It proves something, certainly, there is. The grades that I've got, I wanted to show my parents that I did well in school. But they seemed not to be bothered. I want some attention from them, yes I want, I really wanted. Sometimes, I envy people who get low grades but their parents bothered enough to scold them. Do I have to get low grades in order for them to notice me? Is that the case & the only solution? I don't care if they say I did badly or so, maybe all I wanted was just a simple 'Work harder next time'? I want them to feel happy because I've done them proud & not some pain in the ass who always knows how to give trouble & bring them headaches. I tried hard to maintain not a single underline in my report book, you get what I mean. I'm doing well now, but I don't know in the future, cause it gets more difficult next time round, I'm uncertain that if I could handle it well. I'll try, maybe I couldn't get all A1s, at least all passes. Father pushed away my report book despite I purposely left it there for him to see. His simply can't be bothered attitude, I'm starting to adapt myself to it, but how many heartbreaks can I take a year. I told him that I got back my results, he didn't even ask, well, so just forget it. Am I hopeless or is he? Mother is better than him, but same thing applies, I need to hint her. Because the first time I told her, she was giving no reactions. Disappointed, really, I've nothing to say... So, back to where I was. Went out at 5pm+, watch 'Marley&Me' with Jinger, and cried my heart out. My eyes were sore red after I stepped out of the cinema. Many cried too. It is a fantastic movie, hilarious, touching and heart-warming. Rating : 5/5, superb. Watch it people, (: Camwhored to the max after the movie, in the toilet. Took 195 photos, wahaha, sick aye.? Above photos are not even 10% of which I've taken. Hah. I did some editing, I'm starting to feel proud of my editions, always improving. They're somewhat my masterpieces. Lmao. Will post them few by few, so there'll be a thrill. HAHA, I'm just entertaining myself. I've upset stomach now and then, that I couldn't get hold of myself, but after a moment, I'm back alive and kicking again. Weird aye, & I mean it when I said it was very painful ): Neinei urged me to see doctor, but I guess it's fine. Home sweet home after that. (:

Sunday, went to Bugis with KuanYao, Daryl, JooHoe, JooTong and Mummy. It rained hard which spoiled my mood, or maybe I wasn't in the right mood that day itself. Hah. Managed to catch few glimpse of 'DaMouth' there, they were having this autographs session. Well, Aisha is gorgeous and they guys were handsome dao~. Haha. Watched 'Race to the Witch Mountain'. (: Another fabulous movie, rating : 5/5. Laughed my balls off while watching it. It's a great movie. Starring 'The Rock' from WWE, he was once my idol from WWE, other than John Cena, hoho. I did watch those when I was young. Hah. Brother and KuanYao, got the same pair of Billabong slippers except in different colour, cool pair, I'll say. Actually, Elder brother (JooTong) said he wanted to get a present for me on my birthday, anything below $50 and not worthless, which I assume that guys said worthless stuffs means clothes, he knows I'm a shopaholic. HAHA. Anyway, I'm surprised that he's willing to get me a present. To be honest, I'm touched and thrilled. Laughs, thrilled is because I get to choose my own and it's within the budget of $50. Heh, I don't like expensive gifts. I was looking at this Domo wallet, and wondering if I was about to make the decision of buying it, but Mummy was hurrying me, or rather us. Sighs, so no choice but to move our butts. So, the present is still pending aye, still unsure of what to get, laughs. Went to eat steamboat with them aftermath. Tasted delicious, I don't eat steamboat that often, so not much comments to make. But I think it will taste so much better without this 4 ulcers of mine. Zzz. Great day spending with beloveds anyway (:

Today's band prac, I was almost half dead. I'm very tired recently, maybe it's because I didn't get enough sleep or that I'm always going out. Didn't get any break. So, I guess it's okay for us to eat little snacks right, afterall, it's a long day. I don't know what's gotten into him today, cause I freakin' don't like the way he treat things and ordering us around. I know he have authority, but was he venting his anger on us because he merely had a headache? I don't know. Only the juniors have to help to set and keep the instruments, why is it so. It's not like we didn't help out, or maybe we came just a little later today, in any ways, we always help to keep, didn't we. Have you seen us sitting around always doing nothing. So, what was the big fuss all about. I seriously don't like it. I'm not complaining, I don't have the right to too, perhaps I don't see things like it was before? Am I in a good mood, can't capture well, I don't wish/refuse to let my emotions take control of me. Hope tomorrow's band practice will be a better one. Cause my enthusiasm dropped to 0% today. Mary, Mary, where are the books that I want~ ):

Brother (JooHoe) is going for 4 days 3 nights' camp from tomorrow onwards, sighs. Misses. Will only get to seem him on my birthday late at night. I wonder if I'll get a birthday cake that day. Haha. Marchie babies' outing, I'm oh-so-looking-forward to it. Mummy changed my bed to those synthetic leather kindof, so I guess I'll have to obediently go back to my own bed and sleep, rather than sleeping with brother. Alah.

I awfully apologised to the readers for my extreme long post,

but another thing is, you're not obliged to read. Don't strain your pretty eyes aye (:

IMB.

2009-03-13T05:47:00.000-07:00

Fighting with misery.

Didn't attend school yesterday, overslept. Yeah, you bet.

Went to Mother's house stayover the night before,

because Father's place was going to blackout (no electricity).

I can't even stand sleeping w/o air-con, let alone w/o fan and all.

So, went to Mother's house, and slept at around 2am.

Mummy did wake me up, but I went back to sleep with the mindset,

of just taking a short nap. HAHA, there it went, woke up at 9.30am.

I went to take a look at that day's schedule, boring lessons,

so went back to sleep again. Woke up again at around 11am+,

saw three messages from my friends from different classes,

asking me why I didn't attend school. Stunned. Later,

they explained how they got to know, so I felt relieved.

I thought teachers were looking for me. So, well, just a false alarm.

Then, I had seven friends asking me why I never come to school,

and I found two of which, who were guys, very funny.

I don't want to name the person, out for seven, two are girls.

First, one of them said he wanted to come to my house to visit me,

& check if I was alright. Laughs, exaggerating. Second,

he texted me "What's up man. You sick ah? So sad. Rest well. We miss you."

LOL. This made my day. Regardless it's merely just a joke or anything,

I wish to thank those for their concern. (:

Didn't manage to listen to the Sec 2 Streaming talk,

have to get the details from my friends. & I think I'm gonna

take POA and D&T/HomeEcon. Not sure, shall see again.

Okay, I have 4 ulcers. One at the bottom lip, one at the upper lip,

one at the right upper gum, one at the lower gum. Nei~

It freakin' hurts. But right now, I'm still eating KinderJoy...

HAHA, although, I'm a grown-up now, I'm still like a kid,

doing something which children do. I don't have wonderful childhood okay.

Anyway, I've lost the interest of going to MG for a period of time,

like weeks ago or sometime back then, as I was tight up with my schedule.

Band practices, common tests and all, coping well at the moment.

Well, there's always something to trigger back my interest,

like previously, the new MG with great facilities, now,

it's the new female hiphop instructor, her lesson is fun.

At least, she's the only chinese speaking person there,

other than me, finally, I guess. My small aunt, Ferlyn, is joinning as well.

Hah. Anyway, people you can check it out at this website if you're interested :

http://www.makemusicalifestyle.blogspot.com/.

Got back my report book today, I've no comments to make about my results.

English Language - A2

Higher Chinese - B4

Mathematics - A2

Science - A1

Geography - A2

History - A1

D&T - B3

Art - B4

I'm alr glad that I've no C5 in my result slip, other than that,

I want everything to get at least a B3 at the end of next term.

Think I can do it? I'll try my every best though. Better still,

I want all A1s. Laughs, which I think is highly i-m-p-o-s-s-i-b-l-e.

I'll just have to work doubly harder next time round.

Alright people, I'm drop dead serious about this. This is no joke.

Right now, my memory status is not STM- Short Term Memory anymore,

rather it's IMB- Instant Memory Block. I came up with this myself.

Laughs. Times like last night, there was thousand of voices

screaming in my head, and I HAVE to write down at an instance,

if not the next moment, I can't remember anything, EVERYTHING.

How does that sounds? Have this happen to anyone here?

I'm curious, and dying to know. I'm not okay at all, am I.

So, in the middle of the night, instead of sleeping,

I need to take out this damn phone of mine, wrting this right now.

(This was actually written in the drafts section of my phone)

I've been telling myself last night; 'My Dear Girl, just you sleep,

everything will be just fine, after you wake up, cause you'll

not be able to remember a single thing. Tomorrow will be a better day.'

I kept emphasing myself on this, turning myself around the bed for upteem times.

& couldn't get myself to sleep, so ended up writing this again.

Sometimes, it works effectively forgetting something which you

don't wish to remember, and sometimes, it just don't.

There was something bothering me too, troubling me.

I'm so afraid, of the future, of the becoming of me, of the unknown.

I know this is kind of random, thinking of this right now at my age.

But my mind often wanders, imagining things that don't exist,

things that will not happen, things that is not up to me to think about.

Many a times, these blog posts I've actually written it down on my phone,

just summary of them, so I could remember and post it here.

Am I too much of relying on my blog posts and phone,

in order to help me remember well? 'Memory retrieval can be facilitated or

triggered by replication of an emotional or mental state,

such as being inebriated, drugged, upset, anxious, happy, or in love.'

Is this some kind of cue-dependent forgetting disease that I'm suffering?

It may sounds funny that you can't seem to remember something sometimes,

but as time linger, you would not find it funny anymore,

especially in time, you're in a urgent need to remember,

you'll break down into tears, I tell you. Well, this is from what I've experienced.

I hope I get nothing of that such though. I'm fine, perfectly alright.

Loss of genuine taste of milo too, tasted awfully, but others said,

it tasted alright. Is there something wrong with me?

It have been three days, and it still don't work.

And I've been controlling well my emotions, I guess.

I could plaster a smile on my face, laughing, when tears

were rolling down my cheeks. I've mastered it, eh? Laughs.

Less crying nowadays. Not letting emotions running wild.

I can be as crazy as I can be in school, in class, infront of my classmates,

but why can't I be the same when I'm alone, in the lonely night.

Issue after issue. When is this going to end, about all these little,

depression/ forgetting/ stuffs. I'm getting tired and sick.

I freakin' don't know what's happening hella here, I want an answer.

If I'm diagnosed with depression, I would jolly well accept the undeniable fact,

rathre than I not knowing anything, it's far more tedious for me.

People says they don't like to see me cry, so how about

crying through my plastered smile and laughter?

Will that be better. Brothers had gone for camp,

leaving me alone at home, sleeping alone in this empty house,

for 3 nights. Because, I know Father is not going to return.

I couldn't care less, for the past week, he had been doing so.

Out of seven days a week, he only gave us what, a day's meal money.

If it hadn't been Mother for us there, how could we ever last.

Gambling and gambling, gamble your whole life away,

if this was what you truly wanted, why bringing me to Earth!?.

Down here to suffer, fighting with misery. What more can I ask for.

In this damn empty house, I could hear my echo, lying on the bed,

staring at the blank ceiling, wishing everything to be over soon,

if only it is all a dream, and I'm not existent in this world at all.

Once again, a mini update of the ChinGay's parade.

I'm still unsure of the people who will turn up in the end.

But right now, the response is overwhelming, far more that I've expected.

But sometimes, it means nothing in the end of the day,

cause everything will be become a downturn, hopefully it don't.

The organisers are the guys. I don't think they will make the best out of it,

I don't have much confidence in them. Laughs. So, we'll see.

Right now, I've only asked 2A people, and not yet other classes,

and my other friends. Should it just stay this way,

I've no idea either. I realised many people's birthday falls on March.

Just a reminder for myself here :

YiJun, JingEr, Crystal, WeiJie, Beaunice, Fionna, TaeSun,

& many more of course, can't remember though. Haha.

Term 1 has just ended, March holidays is next week.

& I'm totally not available for the whole of next week. HECTIC.

Particularly because of band camp, which isn't a camp.

No stayovers, just report at 8am, release at 6pm,

how sick does that sounds? 10 hours of training, I can go gaga.

I'll bring loads of food go there camp, pinic. Wahaha.

It's sucha bore, really. It's from Monday~Thursday.

Luckily, no band prac on Friday 20th, my birthday, woohoo ^^

Godbless. Sushi buffet that day, guess I'll gain weight,

aftermath, plus Mummy&brothers who will came back from camp,

on Sunday & some 64 friends, I guess? Will be celebrating, hoho.

Eating steamboat, if I'm not wrong. Blah, but it always

turn out to be the other way round. Sighs. See how it goes.

But it's a lucky thing that I've started playing basketball regularly,

usually at nights, cause I hate to be out under the sun, hee.

Oh, btw, my SYF falls on 31st March, I'm quite looking forward to that day,

cause afterwhich, I'll get a burden weight off my chest. yeah!

Less stressful. Work hard everybody! I'm enlightened today,

because I've finally learnt the two pieces and memorised by heart?

Laughs. Hope I won't forget. ;D

Okay, this girl has never failed to sleep later than 1am for the past few weeks.

Thus, certainly, dark dark circles are becoming more oblivious,

and deep eye bag too. Alamak, I want to look godess on my birthday, please.

Haha! It's not just that, I'm looking shagged, my damn flat face.

I'm gonna sleep early, before 12 everyday, starting from tomorrow onwards!

I swear, I will mark my words and carry out faithfully! (I hope so ><)

Because, the time now is alr 1.05am. Alamak, shitty mama.

Tomorrow still have band prac, which starts at 8am,

sincerely hope that I won't be late. Laughs. Mary is lending me Twilight&NewMoon

tomorrow, I'm so happy and excited! That's one of the reason motivating me

to go for band and take it from her, HAHA. Till then, (;

Lying convincely to myself that, I'm fine.

Back again.

2009-03-08T04:27:00.001-07:00

"Why are we always trying to pose for the best posture for the camera,

when we know we can never change reality?"

Back to post, from playing basketball with 64 peeps.

Has been doing it, since last night. It's happening again.

Spend my day&night away, playing basketball with them.

I'm back to my old self, my very old self, when I was in primary school.

Basically, there were Lampard, TianHong, Damien, LinLin, JunYong,

Gary, Edmund, KuanYao, JooTong and... Sorry, I really can't remember.

Zzz. Certainly, it's more than just that. Alot more, to be specific.

So, after so many years of not touching basketball,

excluding from sometimes, occasionally. I guess my shooting skills,

is still hanging in there. Haha. But I guess, it's poorer than before.

Hm, nevermind. At least, I managed to win Lampard&JooTong over ABC,

last night. They had to run the court X3. Aha. The feeling is so shiok.

LOL. So & so for. I don't know if this will stays the same,

as in playing basketball every now and then. It's like eating chocolates,

back again. That particular feeling and habit, that I've kicked off years ago.

I know I'm going to neglect my friends someday, if this continues.

Nevertheless, I guess I'm going to spend lesser time with NeiNei,

as she has her Ruzaini now. Well, I have to say, attached people sucks.

I'm refering to the people around me, my boundary. Sighs X 1000000.

I hate to see people falling in love, or anything related to that,

at least for now. What's happening to me. Laughs. Don't let me

get in touch with that, please. Blood is boiling here. Typical.

"ChinGay's Parade" is coming in 12 days, on 20th March.

I have no intentions to remind everyone. It's just joy,

that I'll scream for. I used to name this day as the miserable day,

cause sometimes, I rather wish I was not born, seriously.

I'm not asking for purpose presents. So anybody, you need not give me.

I would be happy, if there's someone who would celebrate with me this day.

So, Jafri & Ruzaini volunteered to organise the Marchie Babies' outing,

which I think we're going to Sakura. I hope I would get to eat

a Birthday Cake, especially flavoured in chocolate or fruits.

Heh. Seriously wish that it would be a memorable one.

Mind you, it's not just me, this is a celebration called for,

YiJun & JingEr too. They're my precious darlings.

Anybody I know of, can join in, if you guys don't mind.

Let's socialize, shall we? (:

Time really flies. Camp had just ended. And in hours' time,

I need to go to school. I'm in moodswing now... Swing ah! Swing ah~

I don't feel like going to school, but I don't want to miss lessons.

Sighs sighs X 615489411056456132486448975213578.

I haven't finish my HCL homework, which is the workbook,

needed to be hand in last last week ago. Wthella. Lol.

I wanted to go out today to get presents for my darlings de.

But felt rather restless. And, wanted to go night swimming,

but nobody wanted to go. Sighs. Life is boring, I guess.

At least, time like this. If only, someone could pull me out of here,

and go shopping, watch movie, have any shit, wild time out there.

Am shagged these few days. Depressed. Breaking down...

*drawing circles all around my paper. Laughs.

Hope tomorrow would be of a better day, and yeah, smile, people.

I'm done here, I guess. Off to play basketball again...

*Bounce bounce.

Shhhhh, I ate one Kinder Joy today, again...

Reply Of Tags :

Elain ; Really?! At where? If have, also expired le bah. LOL. Hah, yeah. Copypig. Laughs.

John ; I don't know. I heard Damien said, his primary school friend. Well, I'll ask him again.

D-Mien ; I hold on to your words. Confirm will go eat sushi de. (: Promise ah? *Hook pinky. Heh.

Ended posting @ 8.53pm.

Back from camp.

2009-03-06T05:45:00.000-08:00

Hello people, Imma back from camp. Miss me? Yes? No?

Hah, that was being random. Oh well, as I'm exerted,

I just post a lousy photo of mine above^ just to get away with it.

I did manage to take a few pictures during the camp,

but not really taken in the camp site though.

It's just a handful of it on the bus etc. I caught a photo,

of my instructor when she was waving goodbye to us on the bus.

And her pose was pretty funneh, I hope she don't mind.

Laughs. I would like to show it to her the next time round,

perhaps if next year we'll get to see her again. (:

I shall post the photo next time, I'm too lazy to move now...

And now, I'll talk about the camp alright...

First day of camp, the instructors came to our school,

gave briefing of Camelot and played some games too,

which I felt that the 'captains' on the deck' and the 'blow wind blow'

are quite fun, though I played many times before. Hah.

I managed to be in the few of the survivors. Hurray, laughs.

My 'Red Day' happened to fall on this day too. SUAY.

I prayed since weeks before camp started, that it won't come

during camp. This is frustrating. I felt so uncomfortable.

Ah hai. I got some ruan mian mian from my friends.

Luckily, Shabana did bring the whole packet, if not,

I'm gonna chop off my head. Phew. This time round of Red Day,

I don't know what kena happened, my PMS is very serious.

I screamed at anyone who just knocked into me slightly,

or talked anything senseless to me, especially Cheong Jing Er.

I know you're reading it right now, don't be shy. C'mon.

Laughs. She made me flared up now and then,

even few minutes ago, when we messaged. Typical.

When we reached the campsite, we settled with our stuffs,

and went for the first activity which was the general stations,

which required thinking and team bonding so on so for.

Quite fun pulling people up and squeeze together, heh.

So, had dinner, food was alright, I guess. I can't even remember,

what we had for dinner. Laughs. There was this blind man trail.

It was okay, compared to my primary 5 camp's night walk.

We showered very late that night, at around 10plus.

I swear, I never felt the more desire of wanting to bath.

Because we perspired alot and felt very sticky & dirty.

Eeeyer! The feeling still stays in my mind. Grr.

I bathed with Anisah that night in the same cubicle.

Though, I have the privilege of bathing first,

but I still feel damn uneasy, gah! Aftermath,

went back to our respective dorms to sleep, sleeping bag

doesn't helped much, the wooden floor is as hard as ever.

The weather was very humid, thus, I still feel hot when I was

about to sleep, I changed to my spag top, it was much cooler.

*Grins, time like this, this stuffs came in handy. Hah.

Second day of the camp, the most tiring day ever.

Luckily, the weather wasn't so bad, moreover, it rained,

rawks the world. But some activities can't be carry out smoothly.

Never the mind. We had CRCs for the first activiy that day.

I played the what 'Multiple Vine' thingy, correct me if I'm wrong.

My heart nealy dropped out my mouth playing that.

I'm afraid of heights, yet I finally overcame the fear of heights.

Don't you think I deserve a round of applause? HAHA.

I played the 'Single Log' too, it was shaky and I nearly gave up.

But I strive-d on till the end, woohoo. *Claps.

It was a very good and terrible experience at the same time.

Oh, John stucked at the 'Challenge Pole' for nearly an hour, I guess.

Laughs, everyone was persuading him to jump, alah.

So many people came to support him, alas, he came down,

after half an hour of sitting on the pole & standing on the pole.

Laughs. So, aftermath, we had rock climbing, my hand hurts T.T

I managed to climb to the top and came down, cheers again.

Went for Kayaking, the most enjoyable one, meanwhile, tiring.

I paired up with Jeffrey. Both of us were wearing the same shirt we bought.

Supposedly, YiJun should wear the same as us too, but she was sick,

and never come. Alamakk. I was teased by Instructor Yun Dan,

that we were couple and all. Even Mrs Chua Ong came and commented.

Alah dey. I was embarrassed. Kayaking was indeed fun.

But I had seasick in the end, I felt really super uber dizzy and unwell.

All sandy and wet, in addition of being having 'that'.

Jialat. But I was glad that my kayak didn't capsize,

although how much Jeffrey wanted to. I was so darn afraid of capsize.

When I came out of the kayak, I nearly fainted.

The sea water went into my eyes, it stung. *Ouch

Already I felt so unwell, there was still this knots&lashing,

and improvised rafting, which were drop dead boring.

During the improvised rafting, I was accidentally knocked over,

by Tharindu, my classmate, and fall to the ground.

I didn't know why I cry, certainly not because of the fall.

But when people are sick, they tend to cry. Yes? No?

So, I was pulled to the bench to sit down by Instructor Malina.

I was offered to go bath first, accompanied by Jinger,

which I felt alot better thereafter. *calms. I led the class cheer,

for the campfire. We didn't manage to win anything.

But that was alright, at least we're contented at heart.

That night, I slept quite peacefully, because it was cooling,

and perhaps, I was exhausted...

Third day of the camp...

~~(I should continue this tomorrow.~~

I'm tired. It's 12.42am. I'll go bath and sleep right now.)

OKAY, DAMN. I don't want to post about my camp le.

I re-edited & posted so long, and then the "Internet Explorer stop working".

Moreover, my blogger has some problem, & cannot auto save as draft.

+_)(*&^%$#@!~, PISSED OFF. For more details,

go JingEr's, Elain's or any Sec2 people's blog you could find lah.

The details are all almost about the same. Sighs X 4657894318949.

I'm too tired to repost again, so many cuts on my legs.

My muscles are aching like hella, I can't even pick myself up.

After we were dismissed, some of us 2A waited for 2F boys.

They wanted to pick a fight with 2A boys, for the commotion,

during the camp. They walked away, not wanting to,

as they said it was merely a joke. I've no idea how true is this.

But folly Jeffrey went to scold them humji mofo etc. -.-

Then, it all started again. Adin wanted to fight with him.

I told them to settle this outside school, so off we went,

to 64A. There were more than 20 people, close to 30, I guess.

Those people who were unrelated to us, also came along.

Zzz. Kpo people, typical Singaporeans. Though, in the end,

Jeffrey apologised, not really sure, what convinced him to.

But still, Adin & 2F peeps didn't want to accept the apology.

So, there it went. They fought inside the hall, while others crowd

around, cheering them on. Alah. Jeffrey started off with...

kicking Adin's balls. -.- Idiot enough of him, basic courtesy,

he was not supposed to, or rather in any fights. Alamakk.

I do give him my sympathy. Sadistic, isn't it. Lol.

I don't know if I spelt Adin's name correctly. Hah, correct me.

There was this passerby came and told them not to fight,

etcetc. So, they went back to school, the crowd was then dispersed.

They said they will continue it on Monday. Very well said.

Some claimed that Adin is a fighter. Not really sure about it.

This has nothing to do with me, I'm not involved, I'm clean (;
Laughs. But if they ever need me, reasonable enough to do so,

I'll take my stand. We're civilised people, we won't resort to violence,

unless whatever so, as much as we wanted to, we'll depend on the situation.

Aftermath, went to Singpost Mac with Jinger&Jafri&John&Zainul

&Ruzaini&WeiGuang&Jeffrey, to have our Mac Value lunch.

All the way from 2plus till around 6. Crapped around,

playing truth or dare. Ruzaini&Jinger were certainly the happiest

among all of us. They were dared to hold hands and hug. Aha.

So, they do stead in the end of the day. Congratulations.

So, Neinei, I don't wanna see you emo or whatsoever.

You're happy now, the way it is, and it shall stays the same.

You've nothing to complain about. So let it be.

Only I'm allowed to, alright, you hear me.? AHAHAHAHA.

I did enjoy myself at my time there, I laughed my balls off.

LOL. What a term to use. Hah.

I bought Kinder Joy, it tasted yummy. I find it funneh,

because it consists of only 2 balls. Haha. Rich in milk.

Though I like it very much, I still think it's way too expensive,

if only they could bring down the price a lil. & it's fats-free...

LOL. Forget about it, it wouldn't be. I can't resist the temptation

of the chocolates nowadays, again. Grr shit, I'm afraid of

gaining weight. Somebody save me out of this chocolate fantasy.

I still miss the old one though, Kinder Surprise.

Maybe only a handful of you will know, cause it's quite long ago.

They don't manufactured anymore le, I guess. I don't see it anywhere.

Sighs. It brings me alot of fond memories of my brothers & me ):

Kinder Surprise has three chocolates eggs with the toy in the middle,

in a box. We used to choose our own and played around with it.

Hah, I miss those days. I can't find it back, those memories,

same goes for those eggs, if only I could taste it again,

with my brothers, I'll be very much contented.

Wellwell. I shall end here, and continue with my shit tomorrow,

about today's item. Hah, I need to get my memories flowing,

or else, I won't get to remember anything in the future.

Just want to pen down these little happy moments of my life...

*** This post is done very abruptly, thus, no full details.

Oh, & I've to depend of my friends to write this post too. HAH.

I can't remembre some shit that had happened. ALAH.

Reply Of Tags :

LiRong ; Hah, no need to. You promised you'll come back someday, don't you? Aunty~ (;

ShuHui ; K.izuko at your service, yes mam? AHA.

Mary ; What pretty girl! Alamak. Thanks anyway. Linked. (:

Daryl ; Hello. Intro please? Lmaos.

R ; Rakin! Relinked. (:

Edna ; Yeap, thanks.

Anis ; Linked. Thanks.

Jastine ; I've taken notice of that. Hah. Hi-5? (;

Celine ; Oh, all the best aye. (: Hm, doing fine lor. I still find that I'm not suitable for musical, I think. Lol.

Evan ; Hello. Lol. See you around sometime (:

SiHui ; Yeah, I'm playing the bassdrum. Lmaos. Hm, my birthday is on 20th March, don't you know?! You die. Lol.

RuiMing ; Keep it to yourself can le. AHA. Anyway, last night your father came out and scold the people playing basketball, you know? I'm one of them. Damn pekcek -.-

HongWei ; Of course! Who am I?! KIZUKO, your Heroine. Ahaha. Like you ah? Bangthewall. This is called training phototaking skills. HAHA. Bimbo! (:

XiaoDa ; Updated liao lah! [:

Ryan ; Firstly, what OI. I've a name, and you should know it very well. Secondly, you can talk to me in school, there's no need for you to sorta spam here -.- Thirdly, I'm not scolding you. You pointed it out yourself. I'm not refering just you. Get this clear. & I know where my team stand. Forthly, did I ever say I wanted some illegal helping of yours?! Zzz. As much as I wanted to win, I want to do it with pride and lawfully, not with your help, even with yours, it doesn't mean or help much, I guess. AHA. Loser. I've been more than a leader, of course, I know. I just said the way you guys handle problem wasn't effective. I don't want to argue with you here. Alright, this is plain sillyness. To think that I wrote so much for a tag to you. Alah dey. && I won't write what 300 words essay which you asked me to do so. Cause I think I done nothing wrong, basically. I'm conscience free! Silly ;D

Elain ; Paiseh, gonggong alr lah. (Changed to March) LOL. Yeah, of course, I've enjoyed. But totally beaten ._. Haha. Yeah, so obvious, she copied and paste. She didn't even bother to edit or something. Still can say so loud that she didn't copy yours. Typical aye -.-

Betty ; Halo, link up? (: Hah.

Passerby ; そばにいるね.

TAGS ♥-ed. '/// Ended posting @ 4.28am.

Last word.

2009-03-03T03:05:00.000-08:00

Last post before I go for camp on 4th to 6th ~~Feb~~March.

I've so many things for me to do, alamak. Probably going crazy over here.

Well, just mini update for these few days event, will try to post everything,

as fast as possible and squeeze my brain juice out, cause I've poor memory.

Each time I need to post, I need plenty of time to think over what am I

going to post about and what have happened over the week or days.

So allow me...

This week is IBMC week - Intergrationo Beyond the MacPherson Classroom.

Okay, I do attentively listen at assembly. Laughs, way to go.

Hm, so Monday was this NE adventure trail. We were supposed to go Kent Ridge.

While some other classes went to Fort Canning. Well, the weather there,

is friggin' HOT. Almost got a heatstroke, I guess. I've never ever sweat,

that much in my entire life. It was like from head to toe, my whole body.

If you were to touch me, you'll get wet, prolly. That's a lil dramatic, eh?

Oh well. So it's like from a station to a station thing. JingEr and I,

was in the same group with some 2G boys, there's these two little Indians,

a Malay and two Chinese. All boys except for us. And after this trip,

sorta experienced, that boys are useless. *No offence.

They did almost nothing, we were the ones doing it, always.

Well, I'm not complaining over here. Seriously not. Just some comments,

yeah? Hah. I couldn't stand the heat, I was wearing a black tube inside,

so I half tied up my PE shirt... It's STILL FRIGGIN' HOT.

No use. Alamak. So walked around, almost fainted. Sighs.

I swear, I won't go there forever in my life again. Afterall,

it's a 'wonderful' experience. Thanks the Sec5s for organising. (:

Tuesday, which is today, need not go school, as it's E-Learning Day.

Woken up as early as 640am by my eldest brother.

Switched on the computer at around 650am, and realised that,

I was the second one online in my class! Cheers, ahah. Jafri was the 1st one.

Practically, around 8am, almost everyone in my class was online.

Excluding for those who don't have MSN. Well, it was the first time,

I saw so many people online in the morning. Because,

I've tried online the whole way through from night till morning,

and I was the only one left online among all my contacts.

The feeling was unabearable. Laughs. Try it out sometime. (:

Didn't manage to finish English and Chinese on time.

Everything was supposed to ende at 1pm. I handed in my EL work,

at around 5pm? And my Chinese work at around 6pm.

Phew, a tiring day, but glad that I've managed to finish everything. (:

Oh yes! Last Saturday, went to Beach Road & Vivo with,

Erwin, Eric, Jonathan, Jeffrey, John, YiJun and myself.

Basically, Beach Road to get camp stuffs and Vivo to watch movie.

But didn't manage to watch, as we reached Vivo at around 7plus.

It was raining heavily like hella too. Sighs. But I did enjoy myself,

especially at L.P Zone, the changing room there. Hah.

Jeffrey, John, YiJun and I wore the same oversized tee,

and it looked so cool! At least I think so, hah. (:

Managed to take a few pictures, but wasn't very clear.

Will post sometime when I'm free again. I posted some at

my class blog : www.2a-09-mss.blogspot.com.

Tomorrow, I'm going for camp alr. Very excited!

Laughs. Calm my heart, I'm overwhelemed with joy.

Alah, I've almost finish packing my stuffs. Heh.

Can't wait, prolly won't be able to sleep tonight! (:

Well, I'm thinking of whether to bring my cam over,

to take some photos. But well, am afraid of it being stolen.

Organising a breakfast outing to Mac tomorrow. Lol.

Though, I don't think many will come, as it's friggin' early.

Shitty, Father is pressing me on, he want to use the computer.

Grr, so I'm done. Shall update further, when I'm back.

Tags will replied next time, alright~

Well, till then. Miss me, people. Laughs. ♥

366th.

2009-02-27T06:21:00.000-08:00

366th post.

Yo, people! Anybody spot anything different in this partcular blog?

Well, I added the archives of 2007 & 2008, imported it into here.

When I looked back into those times, those pictures, those words,

I laughed my balls off, I tell you. So damn hilarious, to me.

Look at those changes over the year, especially my hairstyle,

the way I type, my slang and etc. I'm disgusted of how vulgar I used to be.

& Horrified when I saw how I used to type, example ;

Present : "Hi, I am Yeo Chin Gek. & I love you."

Past : "HiiE, iie aM yeO cHiN gEk. & iie luRbb eUii! "

Laugh my ass out, see?! If you're interested, you may wanna read

when you're free. & please, don't laugh, it's sucha embarassment ._.

So, starting off with... the inter-house captain's ball competition.

Well, my house, Topaz, came in third position. Not that I wanna rant,

nor I'm a sore loser, but seriously, I feel that the organisers,

the peer leaders aren't doing a great job out of it. Bullshit.

Spell along with me, B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T.

The whole thing was a bullshit. Sapphire came in first,

while Ruby came in second. They rematched for two times,

and nearly got into a fight, I guess. Just because they're unhappy with one another,

if they could? Others would want the same thing apply to them, right?

But Topaz didn't get the chance, bullshit. Some said they'r gonna complain.

Well, I should wait and see what's the outcome. I don't really care either.

I just want some justice to be made. Laughs.

Recently, I hurt my right arm somehow, I didn't know how it really happened.

It was after my dance class, the next day when I woke up,

it aches like hella. Sighs, with the camp coming up in just days' time.

I can't afford to have my hand injured. I want to have fun,

that others are experiencing too. One thing to note that,

I'm afraid of heights, so please, I'll try to avoid high elements,

as much as possible. HAH. Tomorrow going out with the guys,

to get everything for camp. Oh, I can't wait! (:

My arm hurts sometimes when I'm playing the conga/bassdrum too,

practically, during band. Just have to bare with it for the moment being.

Probably heading down to clinic tomorrow, to examine.

Tomorrow morning, still have band practice, it's 12.50am now...

Urge.

2009-02-22T03:45:00.001-08:00

I think I'm in love with Venus {♥}

I felt an urge of blogging today, so I'm doing it right now.

Today weather is kind of great, so I picked up my phone,

and started to take some photos, which I think it turned out good (:

(I'd forgotten to bring my digital camera, like I always do.)

Only took photos on the journey to SCH and at there while waiting.

As expected, the journey way home, on the bus, wasn't a happy one.

Cause some think they played badly and some were just plain tired.

Well, FYI, I'm both for the above mentioned. I need to work on it,

still have around 1 month to go before SYF. Yes.

I think through alot & tried not to cry when I can't work out something.

Of course I do cry still, now and then, but I'm trying,

& I think I did make an improvement. That's the way how life should goes,

isn't it? HAH. This seldom comes out from my mouth.

* SCH stands for Singapore Conference Hall.

I understand one's life couldn't be smooth, certainly there'll be up&downs,

and definitely there would be pebbles and stones that would actually made you

tripped over and fall. But that isn't important, the important thing was

do you know how to climb up after your fall, stand up and say you'll move on?

I know people tend to fail their exams, fail something that

they had compromise to others and fail in whichever stuffs. Definitely, there'll

be disappointment followed by tears. Who likes to fail? But that isn't important,

the important thing was do you know how to wipe away your tears,

look up and say you are fine & will do better next time?

"So look, I'm trying here. (:" I'm gonna save my tears for drought. HAH.

Hopefully, there won't be any. Oh, world peace. Hee.

She was praised again today, umpteen times. I'm not jealous or anything.

If she's of some substance, I would definitely look up to her,

but if she was praised by something she wasn't, how are you going to convince me?

First time today, I said nothing but felt happy for her, seriously & don't know why.

Second time of the day, when she was held @ the staircase being praised, I was pissed.

Third time of the day, she was invited to stayover at the teacher's place.

This is outrageous. I got mad at her. But I can't stay mad at her or rather any people,

for more than few hours or days. This is particularly me, I'm so soft-hearted, ain't I?

HAHA. Don't take advantage of me ah, upon hearing this. Laughs.

But as time goes by, I could not not agree with that her timpani is getting better.

Hm, but I really do detest people pretending something they're not,

no sense of originality and so on. This doesn't apply only to her. But others too.

If you haven't realise, I'm telling you now.

Well, Mrs Tan told the Percussion about something of which I was disappointed.

Not at her, not at Mr Tan, but at the teachers of MSS.

One of the teacher told Mr Tan that he ought to help out the Percussion section.

They hired him as a band conductor, like Mrs Tan had said, he've alot of problems,

to solve and attend to, I believe. How can they expect him to only attend to us?

Just because Mr Tan is a percussionist, they think they don't have to hire one,

in order to save the expenses? This is plain silliness.

I understand the school do have money constraint at times, but really,

what I'm thinking is, if they can't afford to even hire one instructor,

then might as well don't even take band, a CCA into MSS.

This really shows Singaporeans' attitude and as far as concerned: kiasu/kiasi.

Stingy like hella. Saw those aunties queueing up so long just to get freebies?

I'm a Singaporean and am proud of my country, but with the people in our nation,

sometimes, I can't bring myself up to say the ugly sides of Singaporeans'.

Well, enough of that, that's a wider range of perspective I'm looking at.

So, Mrs Tan didn't really say who it is, but I have someone in mind alr.

I'm also proud of my section, I don't want Percussion to be named as the,

'problematic' section too. Apparently, I will try to work well with one another,

and one day, I'll let our chemistry blows this place up. I tell you (;

Hah, the only problem I'm facing now is, can I even settled down,

and listen to Ryan during band practices? Laughs. Otherwise,

I'll be restless. But I'll TRY though. Heh.

Have you realise I've been talking about band the whole day?

This is so abnormal of me. I'm not going to talk about it too much next time.

Hah. So I'm gonna take a break, and put my hands of my homework.

Truckload of things to do. Tomorrow is a free day! *Cheers.

& I mean free day is like no CCA or supplementary class after school.

So, after 2.25pm tomorrow, it's my time. Seldom get to rest. Sighs.

Hope there won't be too much homework tomorrow. *Prays

Will either get down to John's house to play mahjong etc,

or head down to Bugis to get something with JunJun & NeiNei.

Haven't been sleeping well these few days,

sleeping at as late as 3plus in the morning even on school days.

And the earliest is around 12plus. So dark circles are definitely forming.

Grr. Was actually late for band today, hah. Never the mind,

it's nothing unusual about it. Lol. I'm getting my head in bed early this week, I wish

Off to homework~ [;

Look, I'm doing great.

I'll be able to forget you in no time, boy.

Replies Of Tags :

Esther ; Welcome [:

Elain ; Hah, yeah, seems like we have many things in common. Lol. So cool right, my lil horny fingers poking their 'ahem', HAHA. Updated with truckloads of crap. ♥ ;D

SiHui ; Hah, belated vice versa! (;

Crystal ; Happy Belated Valentine's! Aha. (:

Nabilah ; Negative Things, yeah.

RuiMing ; LOL. Then ask you all to choose for what sial. Lame shit --

Jafri ; Posted le. You knew it alr. [;

Edna ; It's okay, I'm easy-going. Hah, thanks for the compliment yeah! ;D

Beaunice ; Alamak, how would I know. You ought to explain to me sometime. HEH.

Liz ; Paiseh lah! Forgotten mah. Linked le nah. ^^

Llh ; Ling Lay Hiang? Wthella. Laughs.

Celine ; Oh, spys! HAHA. Overture No.1. & Dancing in the air. You? (:

Lala ; JunJun! Arigatou. Heh. No way to tag you back, right? Laughs. ('.')

Jastine ; Probably see my face everyday till sianxz liao lah. Haha. Better still! (: P.S/ I AM crazy. AHAHAHA.

Daphane ; Relinked, chiobu (: Lol.

Tags ♥

Photos.

2009-02-22T03:26:00.000-08:00

Just some peekchas, on the journey to S.C.H this afternoon...

& before you need to comment on anything, I know that the last 2 photos,

of myself are superb (fugly), I know I know. But I kind of love it.

This is crazily fun. I looked fat in those photos. In fact, I AM -.-

So, it's inspired by Elvis Presley anyway, one night ticket~ ;D

Just so you know.

2009-02-21T07:22:00.000-08:00

I'm not in the best condition to take photos these days.

It turned out to be so sucky, I don't like it.

Gah, and too, I'm plain lazy. Heh. Pardon me for that.

Practically, it's good to hear that I'm happy nowadays.

Cause usually, I don't. Hah. I do hope that this will lasts.

But still, I'm stress out with homework and school stuffs.

Well, Father gave me his iphone, which was manufactured in China.
China the word itself, gives you the feeling of lousy. *No offence here.

But no, it ain't, just that the camera quality sucks.

Anyway, I don't mind at all. Cause I have two phones in hand now,

also, a camera, an alternate choice, cause the phone camera sucks.

My father would give me his phone, because he found two phones in just two days!

The first was N95, second was N81. Yes, both are very good phones.

How lucky he was. So yeah, I pleaded him to give me either one of the 3 he owned.

As Mummy told me she cannot stand my bill anymore,

she bought a prepaid card for me. So I have two phones now.

One for messaging, another one for calling etc. So take note of that,

81990112 / 96479639.

As for the Valentine's Day outing and all, I actually did post at my class blog.

BUT, some unknown person hacked into it and delete everything.

So, I created another one. I uploaded the photos there, but no update.

I'm too lazy and can't remember to post too. So, you may wanna check it out.

Just some unglam photos, http://www.2a-09-mss.blogspot.com/ (;

Don't even wanna mention what I received this year.

I want some roses & more chocolates next year please, I hope.

Oh people, approximately one month from now, it's 'ChinGay's Parade'.

*Grinning, I hope you all know what I meant. HAH.

So, we'll be organising a birthday celebration for the Marchie babies.

If you don't understand what I meant...

Jannie, Febbie, Marchie, Aprie, Mayyie, Junnie, Juliet, Auggie, Seppie, Octie, Novie, Decii!

Now you do. HAHA. Hope to receive as many pressies as possible ;D

I mean, who doesn't like to have? Lol. 20th March ♥

So upcoming event which I'm so crazy about, is the level camp.

Seriously, I can't wait, & I mean it, when I said I CAN'T WAIT.

I'm so gaga over it. I borrowed a camping bag from Daryl.

I'm almost done with the things I need during the camp.

Went out with Neinei & JunJun today, to get those items, hah!

Just look at us, how impatient we are! It's still one week away.

I hope we'll have a great time there, & I'm praying that I'll be in the same group,

with people I would like to. Well, we'll be going to have a stayover,

at either one of our house before the camp, just to reassure we didn't miss out anything,

and we shall go school together for the camp. Girls' night, *grins (;

We bought the same tee only in different colours. How cool is that?

Laughs. We went to watch "He's Just Not That Into You."

It's a comedy. Quite funneh, rating : 3/5. Yeah, judge it yourself.

We went to get some accessories, in which we got some airbrush nails,

and I bought myself a necklace and earrings, so for.

I don't think I need to explain in details, do I.

Tomorrow still have band, it's a Sunday. Sighs.

Going to SCH to practise, just to be ready for the upcoming SYF.

It's already 1.50am, and I'm still awake with my eyes wide open.

I need to wake up at around 7am later. I haven't do my laundry,

will get it done after I shut down the computer, cause I need my unifom.

Then bath. After which, I'll get my ass in bed (:

Koko ♥ Neini & JunJun ;D

Valentine.

2009-02-13T04:16:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day! {♥}

As the clock is ticking by, time is passing, it's just minutes away from the special day you've been happily looking forward to, none other than Valentine's Day, I'm prone more to the sadness. I'm spending this year Valentine's Day single, though it goes for the same as previous years, but this year is exceptionally upset. I don't know why either. Was in school eating lunch before going for band, I saw many people waving their heart shape balloons up high in the air, for a moment, I was like "yeah, this is the way V-Day should be". But instantly, when the music played through the speakers, especially "Way Back Into Love" with LiJuan talking about how V-Day should be, those scenarios, sent the tears rigth down my face. Again, this is just so typically of Kizuko, nothing surprising.

I find that I'm crying alot nowadays, or rather every single day, if I'm not wrong. (Call me cry baby, if you like) And it was always in school when I cried and sometimes, at home too.

Reasons why : 1) Common test results not up to my expectations.

2) Class unity shucks like hella, totally not on par.

3) Unknown reasons, depression? Laughs.

4) Morning/Midnight tears. This applies to me. Odd.

5) Complicated issues : Family/Love/Friends.

6) Can't remember --

So on so for, wish the days to come will be better, less tears, please.

For my Common Test 1, the results weren't applauding.

Maths - 17/30

HCL - 29.5/50

Geography - 18/25

Science - 26.5/40

Others haven't get back yet. The above mentioned were almost going to fail. I did very badly this time, deteriorating like shitty mama. Sighs X 100000. Hope I can buck up in time to come. I can't afford to fail any. Never ever.

For band, came to think of it, 'later' still have band, it's alr 1am in the morning, I'm still warming the computer chair, using computer, laughs. Band starts at 8am to 1pm, tired like hella. Gotta get some sleep later on. I haven't finish copying the score 'Dancing In The Air'! Rather I just copied till the 9th bar -.0 Shit, if I can't finish, I'll make sure I'll finish it before I go for band, I don't want everybody to be dragged down by me and copy 2 times again. & like always, LiJuan is always praised by Mrs Fawzie. First was the crash cymbals, second was timpani and third was the tubular bells. What do we expect from her more next? What a great percussionist, this is a compliment, mind you. SYF is coming, of course more stress, have to memories the score, which I haven't done yet. Going to Singapore Conference Hall next week le. Hmm. Mr Tan, our conductor just got angry with us, Percussion today at band practice. Partly because of me, I suppose because I was talking away with Mary, YongKeung talking with XueQi and also, of course, the whole percussion, really played like shit. He said, "you all are wasting my time" and walked away. He is a very patient man, everyone knows. To think that he would flare up at us, shows that whatever we have done was really outrageous. Sighs. I felt really remorseful. Of course, tears just ran down my flat face again. We apologised to Mr Tan, he talked to us in a kind manner, (he always is) I cried even harder. For goodness sake, stop the water tap running. I promise/try to do my best for band, in percussion, solemly.

For my STM, it's really getting from bad to worse. I only realised it when I went to the canteen to buy food during recess, I paid the stall owner money twice! To think that I haven't paid, luckily, the uncle was a honest man. Hah. I forgot my friend's name, somemore! How is this possible. Gawd. I have to do some soul-researching, what's going in me.

Valentine's Day is here, to think that I started posting at 11pm+ and ended at 1am+. Hah. IMBA. Going to meet JingEr, YiJun, John, Jeffrey, Sheena and Moses later on. Will be going Cineleisure most likely. It's either Kbox or Buffet or Movie, or rather everything adds up, HAHA. Bankrupt in just a day. Save money for rainy days, people. (: Oh! I'll expect chocolates from YongKeung, Nazri and Ryan! ;D HAHA. Hope to receive more though, Ilovechocolates, it is the sex yo.

I'll end here, and go copy my scores now. Goodnight, babies.

I'm determined. Boy, can you see it?

Reply Of Tags :

Elain ; Laughs, superwoman aye! Happy Valentine's Day! {♥} ;D

Ryan ; Wthella. Aiteaite.

Jac ; Heh. Relinked! (:

Beaunice ; Hah. Seriously, confirmed guarantee chop got camps all these de lor. And I bet, your sweet boyfr will want to spend it with you, whereas me... ): && what bangs, eek?!

RAIN ; Saw. (:

Esther ; Negative things, (:

QianPing ; Haiyo, quit changing can? Lol. Relinked. (:

Euodia ; Ever so many. Lol.

ShuHui ; Hm, today haven't ah, pharmacy runs out le ]; HEH. Yeah, lost. )': See you in band!

JiaJia ; Hello. Laughs. My 10 years buddy. [:

SiHui ; Laughs, yeah, sad uh! Sucks? Give me yours, manxz! ;D

RuiMing ; Lol. Don't you all get to choose de meh? Alright lah, didn't take a closer look. Hah.

KaiXuan ; Hah, yeah. Cheerup and get over him too luh uh. (: It's a long time alr. Relinked. [:

TAGS <3

2009-02-09T06:27:00.000-08:00

Believe me, I'm laughing.
Believe me, I'm laughing.
Believe me, I'm laughing.
Believe me, I'm laughing.
Believe me, I'm laughing.

2009-02-06T06:20:00.000-08:00

I shouldn't have listened to the voice inside me.

Happy Birthday Korkor! ♥♥♥

Well, I got myself a new phone, worser than before, W595.

I paid half using my angbao money. I thought Mummy would help me pay for all,

I'm so-so wrong ): I wanted to get Apple iphone de neh! It's ex.

I really like it. Ah, wait till I get older, I'm getting a better one for myself.

So, angbao money gone forever more. Sighs. Recently, I'm not cam whoring.

Cybershot 3.2mp and Walkman 3.2mp, is heaven and hell.

Though both have the same mega pixels, but the quality is way too different.

That's why there's no photos of me in this post, also, I'm not in the mood anyway.

I don't know how am I gonna sort this out. Let's see what I can do, I go think.

Oh, by the way, no change of number, it's still the old one yeap. (:

Hah. It's like at least once in a month I will feel depressed,

cause of something or rather sometimes, nothing. Gah.

And this time, I'm still not clear of what I'm so depressed about,

let me figure it out first. Ah hai. Cried more this year, rather starting of the year,

for some little things that I never think that I will cry for.

Pisces is said to be appeared strong outside, but weak inside.

Very much true, I'm one. Anyway, my birthday is coming up in 42 days.

Seems long but not long. I don't expect many presents or wishes this year.

But who doesn't like to have that. Aiyah, let nature takes its own course.

Brother's birthday had just passed like 3 days ago?

It is on 3rd February. I wanted to get some topshop boxers for him.

Initially, that was what he wanted. But when I went there, I called him,

as I don't know his size, he didn't pick up, I didn't buy. Hah.

I owed him one. Down on cash lately, let me save some money first.

Don't wish to spend too much recently, I hope. (I've been saying that, like always)

I felt ashamed of myself when I saw our good friend, NJP, bought him a cake.

We celebrated his birthday on 4th February, will post photos much later on.

I'm happy to see that he's happy. Hah. Yes, I love my family alot ♥.

As much as I do, I don't think it's vice versa. Father didn't even say,

a simple 'Happy Birthday' to brother. Though he didn't say much about it,

I myself pissed off. Riduculous. Valentine's day is coming too.

Spending V-Day single this year. Lol. What the.

I'm spending out my day/night out with some of my 'beloved' classmates.

Will be at Marina's Kbox. Initially, some of them wanted Escape Theme Park.

But after much discussion, we came down with an answer: Kbox.

Considering the factors, afternoon sun is way too blazing hot,

I don't want to squeeze with people, waiting for a long queue,

and anyway, our dear John got himself injured in the class yesterday.

He is wearing a cast, can't go to Escape to squeeze either.

I'm glad the whole incident is not a blast off. Godbless.

And here, I'm wishing him to get well soon.

So yeah! I'm looking forward to V-Day itself, dance like there's no tomorrow!

Nazri said he will give us chocolates, muahaha. :D

I failed my maths class test 1 : Proportionals, 4/10.

Laughs. I never failed in my life before, you wonder how it tasted like,

you wonder how sucha big blow it was to me. It totally shucks.

I cried. Laughs, I thought I wouldn't, for a small test like this.

I want to do well in any other tests, regardless it's minor or major.

It meant alot to me. Haha. Why am I kicking sucha big fuss over it.

Because, it's typically Kizuko here. That's why.

These few weeks are Common Tests week. Completed Geography,

Science, English... And many more coming in next week.

Godblessme, so do you.

Take note of the change of email, anything can just mail me @,

k.izuko@hellokitty.com.my, this is unique okay!

HAHA. I mean, seriously. I'm thinking of changing of MSN too.

But it's kind of troublesome. So let me think it through.

For now, I've forgotten what to type again. Till then,

takecare everyone. ♥.

Mirror mirror, lie to me.

Show me what I wanna see.

2009-01-31T08:34:00.001-08:00

(Daryl said this photo shucks, I don't give a damn shit.

Initially, I didn't say it is nice. Do I look feminine? Aha.)

Happy Birthday, NJP! (:

Like I said, this year is just not MY year, AT ALL.

I lost my phone, C902. I didn't manage to use it more than 3 months.

For goodness sake. Somemore, it's no contract, $500+. Funneh?

I lost it at E!Hub cinema, which high chance it was. But I can't find it.

I went back to check but to no avail. Of course, I cried. Duh.

I'm grieving over because of my contacts, songs and pictures.

Songs & pictures maybe still alright, cause I still can download from computer.

But contacts?! I have 300+ contacts in my phone, how am I going to find it back?

Gah. I have poor memory. I don't even remember any people's numbers,

apart from my Mother and Second brother. Grr. Gotta think of some ways.

& I'm going to change my number again. I don't like it. Sighs.

So right now, I'm thinking of what handphone to get next. I want an iphone.

But I'm not sure that my Mother will get one for me, most probably...

Ah, no idea. She scolded me like hella. Maybe I try to fork out 20% of the amount,

if possible. Lol. I'll think about it and pursuade her to.

Hm, nowadays, if realise, I'm blogging more often, because I've nothing to do,

when it comes to using of computer. I can't play Audition, and some others.

I couldn't download it, guess there's some problem with the computer.

Hm, although, there's alot of homework and revision to be done,

but I'm too lazy to bother. I will do, but not now. At least,

wait for my mood to get better and less tired. Ah hai.

I just went to read my previous blogs' post, it made me laughed.

It's kinda childish when you looked back something you used to do.

Hah, anyway, I've finished watching Vampire Knight Guilty. Yeah!

Now, I'm watching a anime called Sekirei, which YiJun recommended to me,

and she herself of course, is watching too. Hah, it's kinda...

You'll have to find it out yourself. Laughs.

Hm, went to WildWildWet with Jinger, YiJun, Sheena, Jeffrey and John just now.

Tsunami sure made me nauseous. That U thing made me wanna cry.

Lol. I'm most afraid of Sky Rider and SlideUp as usual.

Aftermath, went to E!Hub which above-mentioned,

and watched Bride Wars. It's a really funny and touching movie,

about friendship. The whole thing was so touching and romantic.

I actually cried throughout the ending. Hm, not amazed that I'm crying luh.

But really, I really love the movie, thumbs-up. Rating : 5/5.

Lol. I'll have to do my laundry tomorrow, and homework, and revise for tests.

Yes, band practice & MG lessons will commence from next week again,

all these added up to schoolwork and etc = exhasting x 1754648643.

So long for now.

Just kiss me in the rain, {♥}

2009-01-29T01:49:00.000-08:00

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

{Kizuko}

Apparently, 2009 just isn't the year for me.

Firstly, I was down with 2 days fever on the start of Lunar New Year,

which started from Monday night till Tuesday evening. How 'lucky'.

Secondly, I misplaced my POSB card and couldn't seem to find it.

And now I don't know what to do, should I report lost or,

should I wait for it to reappear? As I've old senile, I hardly remember anything.

I was afraid of reporting lost and replace another one, then I found it.

It will seems totally retarded right? So I shall wait eh? --

Okay, I set a deadline for myself, by end of this week. Yes.

Thirdly, I'm stuck with the first Maths chapter of the year : Proportional.

It made me so flared up because 4 classmates sat down and taught me,

and even my maths teacher, Mrs Chan explained to me, I still couldn't understand.

What the effing wrong is with me? Damn. I can't stand things not sorted out fast,

especially as far as when it concerns about me. & when I feel vex about the whole thing,

I will shed stupid angry tears. Grr. This is so typically of Kizuko.

So, how am I going to survive with the other chapters?

You bet, God bless me. I still have the homework in hand to be finish,

and hand in by tomorrow, yet now, I'm blogging while playing with Pet Society.

Cause I KNOW when I can't understand, I will feel very much discouraged.

Fourthly, my health is deteriorating like shitty mama.

I always thought I was a healthy person but no more, when I reached my mid 13.

My backbone is failing me, aching like hella sometimes.

And frequently nowadays, I have this stomachaches acting up,

for unknown reasons and wanting to vomit. (I'm not pregnant) Lol.

These are the four major reasons that I felt that it is just not my year.

Now, for some little minor thoughts, which I penned down just now.

Although, our class strength has increased to 39 pupils in class.

But we're not really united, working well with one another.

I don't expect everyone to be like 'You're my BFF'. Cause I know it's highly impossible.

Even a 'hello' in the morning makes the day brighter, right? Laughs.

(I'm like some big politican giving speech -- I'm not. Hah.)

Okay. So I still hear or rather see people commenting things that,

is undesirable for ears to listen. Oh, people from our own class.

How hilarious eh. Apart from the only person in our class, KaiXun,

everything still seems okay. She's exceptional. I guess I don't need to explain,

it's plainly enough to see, isn't it? People who knows her? Hah.

Anyway, I was doing my Thursday routine with Neinei.Jinger again,

though we both carries little sickness here and there.

Yet, we've managed to pull through. Hah, yeah! We completed 60 storeys today.

Hm? Okay, the routine was, climb the stairs... Sounds funneh?! HAHA.

Alright luh, so we had this little girls talk about those frequent things,

girls would like to discuss about. Gah, I freakin' want a class chalet!

Please, promise we'll have one at the end of the year. Okay?!

Heh. Oh yessie, Ruzaini is becoming so handsome with his new styled hair ;D

Laughs. He should have style that long ago. Other than that...

That's quite about it... I've to rush my homework, and tears later.

♥ If love was the answer,

could you rephrase the question?

2009-01-24T19:46:00.000-08:00

If a picture do paints a thousand words,

do you really see the things I wanted you to hear?

Have you heard of the words unspoken all this while.

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR, FOLKS! {♥}

Now, a minute ago, I've so much things to say, and the next minute, I've forgotten everything or rather I don't know where to start. What's so great about CNY, every year is the same, right? For some of you, the fun thing is collecting 'angbaos' eh? For me, it's the reunion dinner and Chinatown that I'm looking forward to. Although, I can't have my reunion dinner with both my parents together, but I can't feel more happier than I did not have one. When you're happily eating away, do you think of those orphans, that had never have once before with their families in their lifetime? There's always many more people out there more pathetic than you think you are. I don't know why I'm saying this, I just wrote down whatever it's going on my mind, right now. HAHA. This is lame. --

Having reunion dinner later at Aunt's house. She reminded us not to be late. But somehow, we were always late, not excluding this year. Guess we're going to catch a movie later after dinner, and maybe shopping at Chinatown. My brothers hate it, but I like it (: Though I know it's very crowded, you have to push here and there with many people, to get your way through. But the atmosphere is simply great. Iloveit. And no doubt, my legs gonna be sore after that, if only we'll be going. Of course, I hope we do. I'm still thinking of what to wear later. Sighs, gonna turn my wardrobe upside down. HAHA.

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Had our CNY celebration in school on Friday, of course, every schools does. Among all, I like the Kompang the best, it's kind of hilarious. I like it. Heh. The acrobats left me devastingly breathless. It's kind of scary seeing how they did those stunts. Anyway, went to Grandlink to fetch the guys: Jeff, John, Ruzaini, Samuel with Jinger, YiJun and myself. Aftermath, went to Dhoby and watched InkHeart. Rating : 4.5/5. It's funny, and when I'm enjoying watching the movie with popcorn shared with YiJun, few popcorns slipped into my shirt. Damn. ==

I'm happy now because I've got three new bomb shelters for the new year!

I'm happy now because I got myself two trackpants at such low price!

I'm happy now because Father gave me $50 to spend yesterday!

I'm happy now because I got a silver jacket in order to replace another one!

I'm happy now because I bought that violet vest that I've been longing for!

I'm happy now because it's the chinese new year!

I'm happy now because Mummy is doing fine without me!

I'm happy now because everybody is smiling!

I'm happy now because I think I am!

I'm happy now because I'm letting go.

Reply Of Tags :

KaiXuan ; Hah. Suresure. Hope you didn't say all that on an impluse. (:

Elain ; Yeah! And almost the same views! :D & thanks for the Jupiter thingy!

ShuHui ; Eee! Like calling a chicken at Geylang like that. Laughs.

SiHui ; Be optimistic. There's always something in return out of nothing (:

Cindy ; Linked, pretty (:

WenChin ; Thanks, I feel better. It's just an childish act, I guess. Laughs. Anyway, who told you?

RuiMing ; Muahaha. I saw your new uniform, was like...

Euodia ; Laughs. Firstly, congrats to your promotion. I don't know how to choose clothes for people leh, it ain't my style XD Laughs. Okay bah, just ask me if you need any help lor (: & relinked.

Yvonne ; BHB. In reverse, I'll say. HAHA. No way, I love where I am now. (:

Ivan ; OKAY. No need to tag so big -- Relinked.

Vania ; Hey! Just realised I didn't link you up. laughs. Linked (:

Ryan ; Aiyoh, I don't know what the hella you talking about the link thingy. -- Laughs. Oh wait, I understood le. LOL. Paiseh for the colour though. You need some good eyesight eh (: Thanks anyway.

Nabilah ; Ha, sorry, but I'm not into this kind of stuffs. So sick about it. (:

AhJie ; You are?

Marisa ; yeah! I bet you're so much more pretty eh! (;

Beaunice ; Really? No empty promises wor. HAHA. Which is on...? I not really sure though, so many things going on for me in March. Heh ;x

Sharlene ; Relinked.

Natalie ; Relinked. Suresure, texted you. (:

Sky ; Thanks, you too (:

TAGS <3

2009-01-18T00:06:00.000-08:00

First and foremost, Happy Birthday to XiaoQing & SohWei {♥}

Yesterday morning went for band, SYF marching recording. Was alrd so pissed off in the morning when I had to climb out of bed so early on Saturday. Still, kena reprimanded by teachers and some band mates, which I absolutely detest about it. I have no tolerance with this, especially when I'm not the only one who was doing it. Why me? It wasn't fair, was it? & this lady in band, from the start I entered band, I actually dislike her from the way she acts, damn, I really hate her, so what she has a boyfriend, does it even matters. Who knows when I'll flare up. I could have just walk away at that moment. I'm suffering from spine injuries, & I had to carry that heavy snare drum thingy under the hot Sun, using my back to support. Because there was nobody to replace me, I had to? I wondered, if I've walked away, could they finish recording for the video? Yes, I bet they can, somehow with a solution. So what's the difference for be being there or not? Gah, enough of ranting, just wanna spill out what I have inside so that it won't be so stuffy. Later in the afternoon was okay, Ryan treated us bubbletea, yeah. Laughs. And crapped at BBT's, with ShuHui and co, actually made me felt better. To be exact, I'm entertaining myself with what I have, it will boost my energy, so I won't be that droopy.

Went to Bugis with XiangGong.LiJuan & Honey.JingEr to get present for SohWei, spent 3 hours choosing the right one. I hate buying presents for people, cause I don't know what they like, I've to crack my brain and pondered on that very long. After that, went to eat with Honey at KFC, then went to Street to shop around, which I suggested. Damn myself, I spent $60++. I simply can't withstand the temptation to take out my wallet and buy those items I set my eyes on. Zzz. Anybody out there who knows me, next time if you guys happen to see me there, pull me out of there, please and thanks. I want to save money, especially now, when it's the financial crisis.

Aftermath, went home to prepare to go SohWei's birthday party. Meet Moses, LiJuan, John, Jeffrey, Erwin, Jonathan at my house area first, then went to SohWei's house together. There were many people there, SohWei's relatives and cousins and so for. She lives in a bungalow, expected. Some of our classmates were alr there, NeeKong, JiaWei, Syakila, JingEr, Eunice, Sheena, YiJun, Sucheera, WeiGuang and so for. WenChin was there too, which stunned me, it was said a secret and complicated. So there's no point for me to look into it further. I didn't manage to eat the food there, as my whole spirit was brought down somewhat. I have a cake only. Sighs. I cried, on her party, which I felt that what a stupid thing to do. But I've no control of my feelings, sudden gush of emotions overwhelmed me.

To think that I actually cared what he said, which matters to me, I actually felt my heart ripping into little pieces. I didn't understand then, until I cried, for him. I thought it was just an infatuation, but what's up with the tears then? Does that shows I love him? Or was it just an admiration because he knows how to play 'that thing' which let me remember of my previous ex, which made him just another substitute? I've seriously no idea what the hella I'm thinking. I see no hope, no future in us being together, I can't even imagine. Laughs. I danced, I laughed, I fooled around last night, doing everything that showed that I'm happy. How did it feel to laugh as hard as when you're dying inside, faking a smile on the outside? Enviousness overcome me last night too, seeing that SohWei was so lucky to have so many people especially her parents celebrating for her birthday. Reminding me about my pathetic childhood. Why must everything came at once on that very fateful night? I don't know how to explain this feeling, I think about it everyday. This is me, my stupidity.

And anyway, I've not eaten for the past twelve hours, how amazing as it apply to Kizuko? Laughs. Officially announce that Kizuko is on diet! :D

I need an answer from you guys, it has nothing to do with science and logic.

Question : Jupiter, Earth and Neptune, which is better?

Did you hear me screaming your name?

I guess there's no love in between.

I'm letting go, of this forlorn love.

Tags replied.

2009-01-13T03:46:00.000-08:00

Reply Of Tags :

QianPing ; HEY YOU (;

RAIN ; Walau, need to suan until like that mah. How you & Victor? Still as smooth? Laughs.

Ruiming ; Hoo, look at your last comment, it's before school started, and now it's alrd... 2nd week of school. LOL. See how long I took to reply tags. Lmaos. XD

SiHui ; School is fun at the same time too, okay. You have your friends there too right (;

ZiYun ; Hah. Okay, will do when I'm free (; Hey, come down MG leh.

WenChin ; How am I going to send you? I don't even know your email ._. Laughs. Through friendster? Lol. Or, my email is there in my biography. (:

Joanna ; Laughs. Hello you (:

Vanessa ; Hello. Relinked. MG is Music Garage, a place where you learn music etc etc (: Interested? & yup, Fyn is LingFen from BPS. (:

KaiXuan ; Relinked. Miss me uh? Look at my photo lor. HAHA. Shall see you sometime soon lah okay. And hor, are you serious about transfering to my school? You always said that --

Willem ; Yeah lah, all that crap. It's all about illegal stuffs -- Darn you with all that.

Marisa ; Sorry, dearest! So long then reply XD Happy 2009... :D

Yvonne ; Lol. Can see lah, with you this kind of person. HAHA. Anyway, what secondary school are you in?

Beaunice ; You ask yourself lor. Know why? Because Beaunice never ask me out lah ):

ShuHui ; Where got?! As ugly as ever. Anyhow uh you XD LOL.

Nabilah ; Relinked.

PeiWei ; You are?

Ryan ; Relinked.

JiaLin ; yeah, of cause I know (; Linked. Hah. How you know my blog anyway? Through class blog?

KaiXun ; Linked.

TianHong ; I don't want both blog have the same stuffs lah! And also, I forget that's such thing as copy&paste at the moment... XD LOL.

Esther ; Relinked.

Elain ; Boohoo (;

TAGS <3

That Class,

2009-01-11T04:58:00.000-08:00

Greet my bangs, people! :D Heh. Actually, I've cut it two weeks ago, I think, just no time to update. HAH. I know, it's not really suitable for me. I'm not asking for anyone's opinions here too. I'm just waiting for it to grow longer, and see how it goes lah uh. As for my old hair... I miss them lah! ): Ah hai. I'll always get a haircut or rather change my hairstyle once in a while, cause I can't stand looking into the mirror for the same old hair for three months, I want some freshness please. Hee, okay, this is me. So maybe few more months down the road, I'll change again perhaps, I've to think of another one, real hard. Laughs. And I'm still adapting to my bangs, I've been thinking of ways to style, or rather are there even any? Sighs. So, won't be so much of photo camwhore nowadays. Great thing uh? Save electricity (:

Last Saturday, we have this Recycle Outreach programme, CIP, which we've have to go around the neighbourhood, from unit to unit to collect clothes, newspapers and etc. Yes, it've been a tiring day, but I'm enjoying myself with my classmates. And we can see class bonding there too lah uh. Heh. We have 9 new classmates joined us this year, a warm welcome to all of 'em. Actually, I should said this in the class blog, but nevermind. The class blog itself the whole thing made me pissed off. To think that the class blog was created by me, one of my classmate went to edit something, and claimed all the credits to herself. So my effort was wasted uh? Laughs. She thinks that she is good is all this, and wanna challenged me in every way? Although, I don't think that my skill of editing of pictures or editing of blogskins is very good, but it isn't that bad too. Right..? Lol. I don't wanna speak bad bout people and don't want to point fingers at that very someone. Hm, so that following day went to Bugis with JingEr, YiJun, Sheena, KaiXun and myself to get the things for D&T, and after that went to ECP with JingEr, YiJun, Sheena, Jeffrey, John, Ruzaini and myself. Moses went too, but went back in gaga that he's waiting for us too long. Heh. Anyway, we did enjoy ourselves, we sweat, we laughed, we did things crazy. People were flying off their bikes, (they fell down --) namely Jinger, John and Ruzaini. Laughs. & I've edited John's photo, such thoughtful of me uh. HAH, buey ba. But seriously, I don't anyhow edit photos for people de okay, laughs.

SohWei's birthday is coming up, and we're having her birthday party at her house, hurray! There's only 13 of us going only, SohWei's wish, her call. Though, she said she don't want any presents, but it'll be awkward to go to someone's party, enjoy outselves and not bringing any present right? So, Jinger and I will be down to shop around and see what we can get for her.

Don't feel like going down to MG nowadays, is feeling tired after school and all. How would I feel energized even if I'm down there? But I've paid the school fees alrdy, don't wanna waste Mummy's money and all. Also, I want to learn how to dance/play guitar/piano etc too. But I felt discouraged at times, and felt that I'm rather lousy. I'm not a talented in music person. So it's real hard for me, to even learn. Sighs. I'm truly exhausted.

For now, I'll update again if I've any time, heh. (;

I don't know how to think anymore.

I don't know how to do in such circumtances,

I guess I love you, or I love you not, I don't know.

For now, I'll be single, as long as I could and wish...